In the Heart of Winter
by Wedjatqi
Summary: Teyla had been taken and John was going to do anything it took to get her back, especially considering what she had so willingly sacrificed for him. JT. COMPLETED.
1. Chapter 1

**Spoilers**: Set in Season 5, so mention of all things related!

**Note:** This story was written as one Very long story, but I am going to break it up for ease of posting and editing. Just thought I would mention it….

**Disclaimers**: I own no part of the Stargate world, I make no money from this endeavour. I only love this world so much I wish to play in it.

--

The snow tumbled down from the overcast sky, ever falling, ever settling into a light blanket over the desolate landscape that stretched out in all directions. Beyond the settlement the flat bleak plane stretched out into the distance. One lone roadway snaked through the flat level, its dark stones standing out starkly against the dull grey soil and the light layer of snow. It was an empty road; empty today as it was everyday since she had begun to watch it.

Adjusting her thick hood Teyla lifted her eyes up to the sky, the snowflakes sliding over her forehead and down her nose, tickling and chilling her skin. She tried to focus on the sky above a little longer; searching the clouds for the sight she hoped to see. But, nothing today, the same as the past two months. No Jumper sweeping down to take her home. No, she was here alone among a full settlement of people.

She looked back out over the plane to the road and once again considered heading out along its dark path, but she knew there was nothing at its end but another settlement like this one. She had nowhere to go. In truth she knew a Jumper was unlikely to ever arrive as there was no Stargate on or above this world, but she still hoped. She prayed for the impossible. They surely would be looking for her. John would surely be looking for her, especially after what she had done; what she had so willingly sacrificed for him.

Her thoughts turned to her child then; her arms and chest aching at the loss of his touch. Without realising her actions she pressed her hands over her heart and began to rock, an instinctive behaviour of longing for her child and for comfort of her own. She knew Halling would be caring for him in her absence, but it still did not stop the hurt.

She tore her eyes from the empty road grief pulling her emotions down, tumbling like the ever falling snow flakes down onto the bare earth.

--

The papers covered the table, a blanket of maps, reports and scans; a sea of information that told him absolutely nothing. She was gone, untraceable and lost. That was the official ruling and damn if he was going to accept that.

It was late, the City in slumber around him, but he stayed up every night to dig through the waste of information. What he needed was to get out there and search for her. To travel to each and every world those damn traders had ever considered going and to paw his way through every person there looking for her. To seek out true information; knowledge of where she had been taken. Traded like some random piece of pottery or clothing. It angered him. The anger had not lessened over the past two and half months and it had almost begun to take over his life, so that he couldn't quite remember what it had felt like not to be angry. To feel guilty. It should have been him, not her, but she had stepped in and taken his place. He was angry at her for that, more than he was for the slave-traders who had taken her. John visited little Tagan everyday in Halling's now permanent quarters in Atlantis. The tiny boy was beginning to delight in seeing John, however it only hurt John more to see him; a reminder of his mother's life and beauty. But, John would not stop watching over Tagan, just as he would never stop looking for his mother.

The latest reports from the Mapa people stood to his right. A useless stack of information, but he had to go through it just in case there was something. The Mapa leader had been helpful enough, especially after John had smacked the guy one. It had been on the Mapa home world that Teyla had been taken. It turned out that they traded people as well as goods with a group of Pirates, as John continued to call them, who kept themselves busy using their stolen space craft to transport goods and people to a wide selection of desolate worlds that for some unknown reason no longer possessed a Stargate. Obviously these pirates charged very high prices for this service and John suspected that they were in fact responsible for the disappearance of the Stargates, but it didn't really matter. The pirates apparently would turn up every now and then to gather 'items' for trade from the Mapa people and unfortunately their team had been there during their visit.

A massive pirate had gotten the drop on John, hitting him across the back of the head before you knew what was happening. Despite the months that had passed, the bruise still felt fresh on the back of John's head. Dr Keller reassured him that the bruise was gone and there was no lasting damage, but he still felt it niggling at the back of his head. Perhaps it was the guilt. That he had been in no position to do anything but listen as Teyla talked the pirates out of taking him for trade and taking her in his place.

The Mapa leader had assured them that the pirates actually took great care of all their 'trading items' and that she would be living on a world somewhere else and they should not be concerned. John had seen red and lost it only becoming vaguely aware of hands holding him back and then pulling him away from the Mapa leader who had lain beneath him, blood pouring from his nose. After that John had not been allowed to attend any further discussions on the issue. But, the Mapa had given over all their information on the pirates and the worlds they supplied in drips and drabs as they found them. It was pitifully little, but it had reassured John slightly. There were testimonies from people on Mapa who had been traded away from one of those other worlds. It was clear that all those worlds were bleak places, cut off from others, facing starvation and extinction thanks to the Wraith and their loss of Stargates. So they relied on the influx of people from the pirates to work for trade and to keep up their populations against the cullings from the Wraith. Unfortunately these ex-slaves had no idea when these worlds were, having no Stargates or any idea of coordinates for the planets; there was nothing useful. John had wanted to go after the pirates, but where could they start and there was no known way to track them and all searches thus far had been fruitless.

So she was on a planet he could not find or reach, trapped on a terrible world, perhaps starving and in danger from a Wraith attack at any moment.

The others had given up, but he kept up the search. Every evening he went through these reports and scans looking for a tiny key, anything. But, there was nothing. No trail of breadcrumbs to follow to her, no way of knowing where the pirates were, or even which of their numbers took her. They called it hopeless, he refused to call it anything.

It was just after 2am when he lifted the penultimate Mapa report and found the first slight ray of hope. It was tiny, but something; an ex-'traded item' spoke of a world the traders stopped at in their journeys. She had accompanied them down to the surface of the planet to help carry supplies and she described a tavern in great detail. Obviously one naturally interested in art, she had noticed a large sculpted piece hanging to one side of the bar. John recognised the sculpture, or thought he did. A tavern he and Ronon had visited whilst following up on pirate reports that had turned up nothing of consequence. But, this woman described the tavern and the artwork in vivid detail; it had to be the same place.

He stood up sharply from his seat, the chair rolling away from him across the slick floor to thud against the wall behind him. He turned, piece of paper in hand, towards the exit, intent to share his finding with someone; but who? He stopped. What would they say to this; that he was reaching? That they had already scouted out this world. They would most likely send a team again, they wouldn't deny John that, but unless the pirates just happened to be wandering around the village at that exact time, they would not be able to remain. Teyla had been missing for a long time by the IOA's standards and no substantial time and effort would be fuelled into the search any longer. What he held in his hand was a faint hope, and they did not deal in those. John couldn't risk them not allowing him to go and do what was needed to find her, to bring her home. He turned back towards the littered table, searching through the papers for the details of this world. Yes, his instincts told him; this was the way to start. He held the transcript of his eye witness in one hand and the gate address in the other and considered what he could do.

Twenty minutes later he was walking into the Jumper Bay, ostensibly to check on some repairs. His black back pack and vest hung from his shoulder, most on duty in the evenings were used to seeing him with his bag full of reports and maps, however now his pack contained clothes and supplies along with the few useful reports. The Bay was empty, so he stored his bag away, checked his weapons and closed the Jumper's hatch. He sat down in the pilot seat and contemplated what he was about to do. Not that it would be the first time he would go outside his authority on a mission, but it was for Teyla. He was crossing a line by not asking permission to go and he may very well be signing away his job forever, but what else could he do? Tagan needed his mother and John wasn't about to let her remain lost on some horrible world. He started up the pre-flight and began lifting the ship towards the entrance to the Gate room. He called up Rodney's backdoor programme to the gate's shield and began to dial a random address to hide his ultimate destination from them.

He dropped the ship down into the Gate room, refusing to look to see if anyone was shouting at him or whatever and commanded the Jumper through the event horizon with a single thought. All he could hope was that they would not judge him too harshly and that Ronon would forgive him for leaving to save Teyla without him, but if this didn't work out he could not risk his other friend. So he left Atlantis in a hurried few secongs, leaving behind a hastily hand written note on the meeting room table amidst the useless reports; "Gone to check out a lead".

--

The snow still fell; constantly sucking away the warmth and freezing against the stone paths. Teyla trod carefully down to the meeting hall, pulling up her long woollen skirts so she could step steadily over the ice to the snow lined edges. The traders had visited one of the distant settlements and the news of a missed trading opportunity had soon passed around the small community. Teyla entered the packed wooden framed hall, the air warmer inside. She knew them all now, knew their stories and their dreams. They were good people, who had welcomed her as a new member of their community. They were rather used to gaining and losing people to the traders, or to the other settlements. They respected her desire to leave the world to return to her people, but could do nothing for her. So she had remained, working with them to work a difficult harvest and to work her part in keeping the community strong.

She took at seat, the chair one of the many carved by the town's two talented carpenters. Teyla had one of their rocking chairs in her small home they had given her and it had often been the means to get her to sleep through her worrying and the loss of her child's warmth.

The meeting progressed through the matters at hand. Everyone could speak their turn on any matter, all lead by the settlement's ironically named leader; Merryweather. Teyla could only guess he had either been born on another world, or that his parents had been very optimistic people. Teyla had begun to speak up herself when she felt she did in fact have something to offer these people. She had begun to contemplate the fact that she may be with these people for a long time, so she should try and make this place as much of as home as she could. Beside her the youngest carpenter, Lucas leant in.

"It is good to see you looking so well, Teyla." He said with a slight blush over his cheeks.

"Thank you, Lucas. You are well?" She said back politely, trying to keep her tone friendly, but not too friendly.

"I am indeed, all the better for seeing you. The meeting is very good today is it not?" He pushed, distracting Teyla from the meeting by his words. Lucas was a very kind and talented soul, but Teyla had no interest in his obvious attempts to court her. She knew it was a matter that the rest of the town were immensely amused by.

"Yes, though I hope the rumours about the traders is not true." She replied honestly.

"It usually is. They do tend to trade with one settlement at a time, it means that you will have to remain with us until the next time they visit our world." Lucas said, obviously trying to sound upset for her.

"How long will it be until they return again?" She asked.

"It is usually anything between three and six months, but they may choose to trade with another settlement. It is never clear. But, we made excellent trades last time that should last us to the end of the year."

"That is good, but I do wish to find my way back to my son." She reminded him.

"Of course, I understand. But you do realise that even if the traders took you away from this world, they may only just take you to another world."

"Then that is what I will have to do until I find a way to get back to my people." She said a little harshly. Lucas' face briefly. "Not that I am looking to leave you all. You have all been so good to me, but I have to get back to my son." She hastily reassured him.

"It is true a son needs his mother, especially one as strong and noble as you." Lucas replied.

Fortunately the meeting broke up at that point and Teyla had the opportunity to move away to speak to others. They would all head over to the tavern now, into the warmth contained there from the constantly lit fireplaces and from the strong ale they would consume.

Teyla headed out back into the cold, following the others towards the tavern. She paused at the side of a path, looking up to the sky hopefully then out through the fading light towards the roadway. It was becoming more of a reflex now that before. Some part of her heart was weary from even looking, rarely seeing anyone there except the occasional traders from the other settlements. She wasn't sure why she was even looking anymore, for if her team came to rescue her she may simply be beamed up into the Daedalus without warning. Why would they walk along the path to the settlement? But, she still looked out into the distance, hoping, dreaming and lying to herself.

--

It was the fifth world he had visited, stealing along on the side of a pirate ship when he could like some kind of suckerfish. The pirate ships tended to remain in orbit over a settlement of a world for at least a day to trade, which allowed him time to set the Jumper down in the settlements to ask questions and to trade for some food of his own. He carried a now dog-eared picture of Teyla taken at last year's Christmas party with the rest of the team. He had found no mention of Teyla anywhere. The pirates then usually moved to hover over another settlement on the opposite hemisphere of the planet to trade again. That gave John two days to search an entire world for her.

He couldn't rely on her personal beacon being active as the pirates apparently scanned their trading items for them and deactivated any trackers. Fortunately though the worlds were pretty empty, the settlements tightly packed together which allowed him to visit many in a short span of time. But it was difficult leaving the planets with the pirate ships worrying that she had actually been on that world and he was leaving her behind. But, at least now he had coordinates for these planets and could return later. Perhaps even the remaining Stargates from the now disabled galactic bridge could be transplanted to some of these worlds. If he didn't find her he would come back and check them all over again. But, he had to leave with the pirate ship or lose his chance to reach another world and it appeared they didn't return to planets for at least three months and he couldn't afford to be trapped on one planet that long.

So here he was above another world, this one grey and cold. His search among the settlements in the southern hemisphere had not been hopeful, but he hoped that may change in the northern hemisphere. The trouble was finding somewhere to hide the Jumper, as even when invisible it would be easily seen in the constantly falling snow. In the end he had found a small bedraggled forest in which he could hide the ship whilst he made his enquiries in the local settlement. He had traded his watch for a large heavy coat in the Southern hemisphere as the cold was so penetrative and draining.

He entered the busy tavern, brushing the damp snow from his face and headed towards the bar. The people had been friendly enough here, which he guessed was probably due to the fact that they lived in an appalling climate and spent as much time in the tavern as they could. He leant against the bar and a happy red faced woman placed a mug of ale in front of him. He smiled politely and as he had done on so many places he pulled out the photo of Teyla and asked if she had been seen here. He barely had finished the question when a gentleman leant in against his shoulder.

"That would be Teyla." He said, slightly slurred.

A burst of relief and excitement went through John. "Yes, that's her name. Have you seen her?"

"She lives over in one of the other settlements, can't quite remember which though." He squinted intently at the photo in John's hand. "Yep, pretty lady."

"Sure. Can you remember anything about the settlement you saw her in?" John asked working to contain his impatience.

"Think it's the one run by Merryweather." He replied.

"And which settlement is that one?" John pushed.

"Can't say I remember. All the settlements look so alike you know…."

John tried not to roll his eyes. Of course the settlements would look the same through the bottom of a glass of that much ale. There were five settlements close by and it would take him time to get round them all. He couldn't risk landing the Jumper on their doorsteps, so he was gonna have to walk some of the way. He was going to miss the pirates leaving and unless she was at the first settlement he visited they would be stranded here for a few months. But, at least he knew she was here, or had been if she was still alive.

--

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

--

The following day Teyla took cleaning duties, sweeping back the snow and tidying up the pathways of the settlement. It was a rather frustrating job, especially today, for as she cleared away the path the snow simply covered the area again. It also meant she spent most of the day outside in the cold, but at least it was better than tending the harvest plots. Throughout the settlement a small cabbage like vegetable was grown that was full of nutrition and grew well in the weak cold soil. When on tending duties in the cabbage beds you spent the entire day with your hands in the cold soil plucking up the cold partially frozen vegetables from the earth. At least with cleaning the paths she was active enough and her gloves kept her hands warm enough to feel them, for the most part.

She straightened up from her work to stretch her back. The air around her steamed with her warm breath as she regarded the fast falling snow. Her eyes watched the white flakes fall from the sky, her eyes dropping down towards the plane. And then she saw something moving on the path. Teyla squinted through the snow and realised someone was heading along the path towards the settlement. Vague hope flared to life, more from habit than from any real feeling. She watched the shape as it began to form into a human figure in the distance below the settlement. It was highly unusual to see someone walking out by themselves along the road. She considered whether someone had been hurt or was bringing news instead of trade. Anyway they were too far away for her to be able to learn anything new, so she set back to work on the last path which lead down to the main gate at the bottom of the settlement's hill. She would be able to keep an eye on the approaching figure as she worked.

After she had cleared a large expanse of the path she allowed herself to look once more down at the path. It was definitely one person she could see now, walking at a steady pace wrapped up tightly in a long coat. She recognised the design from other settlements and her heart dropped slightly, she had so hoped to see the style and colours of Atlantis. The person's hood was pulled fully up obscuring their face, though she would not have been able to discern anything from this distance; still she had hoped.

So she set back to sweeping, but kept her eyes on the approaching person. After a few minutes she was sure it was a man; their shoulders too wide and tall for a woman. She stopped and leant her broom against the half wall of dark stone and watched intently. There was something familiar about them though, in the way they walked. A suspicious hope returned as she watched the growing shape. They strode onwards through the falling snow and cold along the path with a brisk and determined step.

Ignoring her sweeping duties now she headed down towards the main gate, keeping her eyes on the man. She almost stumbled over several people in her attempt to walk without looking where she was going. Eventually she had to look away whilst she jogged quickly through the entrances archways and out to where the path began at the gateway. As she emerged from around the settlement's last buildings she had a much clearer view and he was getting ever closer. Keeping within the sheltered shadow of the entrance gate, one hand lifted to block the snow from her face she squinted out looking for details.

He was dressed in the long coat and the hood pulled up, but now he was close enough that she could see his face, but instead all she saw was darkness. Then she realised that he was wearing sunglasses; aviator sunglasses. Joy and relief stole her breath and she stepped out into the snow on the path. Surely no one else from another world would have sun blocking glasses like those? Agonising minutes passed as he moved closer, his shape clear now and she was now almost entirely certain it was John. He was really here!

Ignoring the cold wind across the path she headed out towards him. After several seconds she saw that he had seen her, pausing to shield his eyes from the glare of the snow and the low hanging sun. The gesture so familiar that she heard herself laughing as she quickened her steps forward through the snow. He dropped his hand and began walking quicker as well.

She was practically running when she reached him. He pulled off his sunglasses when they were close and she heard him call her name and then she was upon him, her arms wrapped around him. He hugged her back fiercely. He was real. She kept her arms tight around him, ignoring the layer of frozen water over his coat. He lifted her as he laughed in delight. She laughed as well he placed her back down on her feet. He pushed back his hood enough to reveal the rest of his face and she hugged him again, pressing one of her cheeks to his chilled one.

"Thank God, Teyla! You won't believe how many worlds and settlements I've been through to find you!" He said as they released each other again.

She heard what was missing in his words and she found herself looking over his shoulder at where the rest of their team would have stood. "Just you?" She asked carefully, keeping her hands locked on his arms making it clear it did not really matter.

His face fell slightly. "Just me I'm afraid." His words and tone said all they needed to, she understood. He was not here officially. He had broken rules to find her. Regret filled her heart then.

"I am sorry, John." She said.

He brushed away her words with his hand, the snow gusting away from his gesture. "No probs, especially after you went and saved me from the same thing. Which…" he pointed his gloved finger at her "I am not happy about by the way. You shouldn't have taken my place." But, there was too much joy behind his voice for the reprimand to mean anything serious to her.

"You are here now and that is all that matters." She replied.

"Teyla?" Came a concerned yet enquiring voice from behind her. She turned to see Merryweather and several other people standing further down the path.

"Merryweather, this is my friend, John Sheppard. He has been looking for me." She said back enthusiastically.

Merryweather's concern disappeared. "Oh, one of your people?"

John walked with Teyla towards the leader. "Yes. John this is the settlement's leader, Merryweather. He has been most kind in allowing me to stay here with them until I could find a way back home, or be rescued."

"Welcome, John Sheppard. I am pleased to welcome you here. We will be most upset to lose Teyla." Merryweather patted John on the shoulder in a friendly yet awkward manor.

"Ah, yes on that matter, I'm afraid that the rescue part may take awhile." John said turning to Teyla. "I've been hitching a ride on the side of those pirate trading ships. It took me too long to find which settlement you were in and they have left. We are going to have to wait till they return again to catch our lift home." He looked rather sheepish.

Teyla felt a flash of disappointment, but she quickly dismissed it. "It does not matter, they should return in a couple of months."

Merryweather looked rather pleased Teyla thought as he added "Then you can remain with us a little longer, and John Sheppard, we would be honoured if you would stay here as well."

"That would be great, thank you, Merryweather." He smiled back politely, but Teyla heard the hitch of amusement as he said the Leader's name. They exchanged a smile as they followed the Leader back towards the settlement.

--

Teyla lead John into the small house she had called her own for the past couple of months. It was small but warm and sturdy. The main feature was the massive fireplace set in the middle of the right wall. Stairs opposite lead up to the half floor above the kitchen holding one bedroom and storage room. The open layout meant that the warmth would build up throughout the day and warm the bedroom at night. Beyond the fireplace was the small kitchen and a back door that lead to a tiny snow covered garden in which she managed some training when the weather was not quite as cold.

John dumped down his backpack with obvious relief and began to pull off his gloves as he took in the place.

"Not bad, Teyla. I was worried you were stuck in some hell hole, serving food to rich Wraith Worshippers." Though he was joking, she understood his meaning behind the words; he had been very worried about her.

She walked into the lounge area before the fireplace, suddenly conscious of the place. She had made several large cushions set before the fireplace that she found comfortable enough, but there was only the one rocking chair and a small table at which she ate her meals. Merryweather had dropped enough hints that there was nowhere free for John to stay and Teyla had immediately replied that he could stay in her home. Merryweather said he would organise a spare bed to be sent over. John had appeared relieved.

"Life here is very basic, but as you saw the people are very kind and generous. But, we all have to work hard." She said walking through to the kitchen. "We will need to get in some more food and I think there some spare blankets in the storage room."

"Don't worry about me, Teyla. I've been sleeping in the Jumper for too many weeks, this is a great place."

She turned back round to see that he had pulled off his coat, his form on display again. Familiarity and happiness tore through her and she felt her throat tightening slightly. He was really here and soon enough they would be able to head back to Atlantis. She longed to ask about Tagan, but did not trust her voice on the matter.

"Would you like some hot tea? The leaves are quite nice and very warming."

"That sounds great, thank you." He said as he walked through the lounge joining her in the kitchen.

She turned her back as she set about filling a kettle with water that she would set over the fire. He moved past her towards the back door and peered out through the small window at the garden before turning towards her settling his eyes on her with an awareness that almost set her weeping.

"How is Tagan?" She asked, unable to contain the question any longer.

A small smile crossed John's face. "He's fine, Teyla." He reached into his top pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and handed it over to her. "Sorry it's a few weeks out of date."

Teyla took the paper with shaking fingers and opened it to see it was a photo of her son. He had grown so much, but his features still so familiar. Ronon was holding Tagan, the smiling baby settled in one arm whilst Rodney leant in waving a small fluffy toy. Tears flooded into her eyes and the pain so long held in check struggled to break out. She turned from John her eyes fixed on her very healthy looking child, obscured partly by her tears.

John stepped up closer, looking over her shoulder at the photo, his warmth close and comforting. "Halling has been living permanently in Atlantis. He takes Tagan into your quarters everyday so he can touch everything and know your smell. He's a happy little guy. I've been trying to show him some football tapes but he's still too young to truly appreciate the sport."

She laughed lightly at his joke, feeling joyful that Tagan was obviously being taken such good care of. She was especially pleased that John spent time with him, as he had never quite taken to the fact that Teyla had gotten pregnant, let alone now a mother. "You see him often?" She asked, hoping for information on any details of her son.

"Everyday." John replied. She turned back towards him feeling happier again, the sorrow fading.

"Thank you John. For finding me and for this." She looked once more at the photo and then handed it back towards him.

John shook his head. "No, that's for you. We took loads of photos for you, so you wouldn't miss anything. I would have brought some more, but I left in kind of a hurry." He said cryptically.

She opened the photo once more before she tucked it inside her inner shirt pocket; close to her heart. Then she looked up at John again. "Are you going to get into a lot of trouble?"

John shrugged and turned away back towards the back door to look out again. "Wouldn't be the first time. So, what kind of work am I gonna be doing here then? Merryweather was a little vague on the details."

Teyla accepted the change of subject. She began to describe the various duties everyone undertook in the settlement as she filled the kettle and carried it over to the fireplace to heat.

--

Despite the cold John quite liked the place. Not that there was much here to have very many feelings about; it was essentially a rocky rise on which a collection of buildings stood surrounded by a wall. But, the people were kind and welcoming and extremely hard working. Everyone in the community took turns at the variety of chores, of which after three days John had decided were nothing too bad. Rather boring at times and cold if you were outside, but considering the past months of fear and stress and then his restless trailing of pirates across the stars he could put up with this. He had a comfortable bed in which to sleep near a warm fire, the knowledge that Teyla was safe and well, and that it was only a matter of months till they could get out of here.

He estimated there were about two hundred people in the settlement, very few of them children he noted. Everybody talked a lot he noticed as well; something he felt right at home with. It appeared that these people got through these hard cold demanding days by enjoying each others' company, telling stories and sitting in the tavern. The tavern was massive, the second largest structure next to the meeting hall, which John referred to it as 'Beowulf's hall', due to its construction and decor. Teyla's small house was comfortable enough, the massive fireplace heating the structure throughout the day and night against the cold outside. John felt like he was living in a ski chalet, but without the skiing. The snow seemed to constantly fall, just in varying rates of speed. And it was always that annoying temperature that he had hated in childhood where it was cold enough to snow, but not for it to settle in more than an inch or two over the ground. No skiing or sledging in his near future, not even enough for a decent snowman.

He and Teyla had spent his first two nights here sitting up late into the night talking about Atlantis. He had much to tell her of the team's antics whilst she had been gone. She was full of questions, obviously having missed them all, which he had been more than a little pleased about. He had tried to include as many stories that included information about Tagan, as she obviously wanted to hear of how her son was growing. Though she seemed thrilled to hear of him, John could see the pain beneath her tone and in her eyes. He wished he had found her sooner, so that he could have gotten back to the pirate ship earlier and returned her to her son as soon as possible, but he knew he had done all that he could.

Sure he could have flown the Jumper out to each settlement and parked in the centre and demanded to see Teyla, but that could have resulted in more trouble than he may have been able to get out of by himself. Add to that he didn't want any news of him and his ship to get back to the pirate traders. He vowed to himself that once he was back in Atlantis he would find a way to do something about them though; that was if he would even have a position back home through which to be able to do anything. He may already have been fired, or announced 'Missing In Action' for all he knew. Well, he would deal with that when he needed to. He already had a few ideas on what to say. Closer to that time he would talk to Teyla about it and get her opinion, right now though he didn't want to draw anymore attention to what he had done to find her, she would only feel guilty.

So for now he would try and think of these next few months as a holiday; a holiday where he had to work, but at least it was time away from worrying over the politics and running a military base. Hell, he may never do that again anyway, maybe he should try and get used to this kind of life.

--

The fire popped loudly, bringing Teyla out of her heavy sleep. She blinked open her eyes and focused at the room around her, lit in odd yellow and red tones by the firelight. She must have fallen asleep sitting by the fire. Outside the snow storm bellowed against the timber frame, causing her an instinctive moment of concern. The walls creaked and groaned slightly, before once again falling silent. Her eyes moved to the small window by the front door and saw the large amount of snow that had already built up against the frame. John would be happy as tomorrow there would undoubtedly be deep thick snow to enjoy.

She turned her head towards John's bed beside the far wall, but found him much closer than she had expected. He had also fallen asleep in front of the fire, so that he now lay only a foot away from her. She realised that the thick blanket was tucked up around her, which he must have done. She watched him as he slept, his eyes moving slightly beneath his eyelids. She considered whether she should wake him, as he would no doubt feel more comfortable in the morning if he slept on his bed and not curled up by her on the floor against the cushions. Yet, she was reluctant to disturb him; he looked peaceful and, dare she say it; cute. The firelight danced over him beside her and once again she thanked the Ancestors that he had come for her. She felt so honoured by the gift of the people from Atlantis, that they had taken her in and that John considered her family enough to search so long and hard for her.

The wind battered against the window once again, drawing her attention back to the storm raging outside. John stirred beside her, and she looked round to see him blinking his eyes and looking around in slight confusion. His eyes met hers and he smiled softly, before his eyes drifted shut once again. It was enjoyable to see him so relaxed, and so very close. He was lost in that beautiful place between being asleep and being alert. She felt the pull of slumber returning herself. Before she allowed that she checked the fire and saw that it would require at least one more log if it was going to continue to burn through the night. Sighing against having to leave the warmth of the blanket under which she and John lay, she quickly tossed aside her side and crawled towards the fireplace.

Teyla pulled aside the mesh fire protector and added some new logs and kindling, setting about reigniting the flames further. The remaining pieces of log and the glowing hot embers ignited the new fuel easily enough. She took her time using the metal tools to poke and prod the logs into the right places. Satisfied it would last she returned the tools and fire protector. She remained there for awhile enjoying the intense heat of the flames, watching them as they danced up randomly. She breathed in the sweet smell of the local wood and knew that her bedroom upstairs would smell just as sweet being open to the lounge below. She contemplated heading up there to her bed, but it was too cold for that. Looking back at the room around her she watched the shadows dance along the walls and over John where he lay not too far away. No, she would stay down here where it was warm and near John.

Though reluctant to leave the area of intense warmth around the fireplace, she turned and crawled back towards where John lay. As she neared and her eyes adjusted to the dimmer light away from the fire, she noticed his eyes were open and watching her as she approached. She smiled in greeting as she returned to her earlier place next to him and under one side of the blanket. As she worked to adjust the material, his hand came up and helped to cover her legs and shoulders. She settled back down against the cushions, now cooled since she had left. She huddled under the blanket and shivered. John finished arranging the blanket, pulling it up to her chin and reached out to rub her arm to help warm her. She smiled in return, turning towards him, looking to steal some of his body warmth. He continued to rub her upper arm through the blanket, until her shivering passed.

"Nice fire." He commented sleepily.

"Thank you." She responded.

"See that's why I always get you to build the fires on missions." He said. She smiled, but suspected that he would be able to start a fire in a blizzard if he so put his mind to it.

"It was one of my first chores as a child; to start and maintain the fire in our tent." She told him.

The atmosphere changed abruptly, as it so often did when her people were mentioned. They had been found, but so few remained following Michael's horrid experiments. She denied the melancholy that threatened to catch her and pressed her cheek down into the cushion and tried to think of anything but her lost people and absent son.

John's hand went still but remained resting against her arm. She looked across as him through the firelight and could see his dark eyes on her. There was a new intensity there that she interpreted as regret for her on behalf of what had happened to her people, but also relief that she was safe. He had had that expression often over the past week.

"Thank you for coming for me." She said once again softly through the night.

He squeezed her upper arm briefly before he pulled his hand away, leaving a nasty cold patch on her arm. She watched as he tucked his hand under the blanket and under his chin, surprised slightly by his silence. However she smiled in delightful amusement to watch John Sheppard snuggle down into a blanket. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the warmth and the feel of John's strong presence so close. Sleep drifted in, in which she was running with abandon across the old Athosian grounds with an older giggling Tagan.

-- Straight On to part 3…...


	3. Chapter 3

Please note the rating for this chapter...no kids here please!!

--

After a week and a half John was no longer enjoying life so much. As if the clouds above had heard him repeat that sentiment once again the snow began to fall even heavier. He stomped onwards cursing the snow openly wasting warmth by spitting out his invectives into the empty air. It helped though; to swear out loud. It helped to expel even a tiny amount of the frustration and annoyance he felt right now towards the current situation and the universe as a whole.

He had been enjoying himself in the settlement, but that had ended last week sometime and since then he had felt like a trapped animal, but instead of iron bars holding him in it was an empty wasteland encircling the settlement. And damn it if there was anything he could do about it. Well, there was one thing which was the reason why he was currently stomping through knee deep snow by himself along the once obvious pathway, which now was getting considerably difficult to follow in the vastness of untouched virgin snow.

He paused to catch his breath, pulling his face protector over his lower face more firmly. The loud verbal swearing had cost him some breath and heat, which he now paused to regain. He surveyed the landscape around him, everything pretty much pure white and little else. He struggled his hand inside the pocket of his jacket and pulled out the life signs detector. The display indicated the general direction of the Jumper, but he was still too far away for it to really matter. He had to just keep heading in that direction and pray that the detector was right. There were no landmarks to follow and anything that may have been useful in the far distance was obscured by the blizzard and over cast clouds.

Muttering more quietly now he headed onwards again in the direction of the Jumper. He had planned to move it closer, having scouted out a cave near the base of the settlement. He had visited the site several times over the past week and cleared out the rocks and snow by hand, revealing a space certainly deep and high enough to shield the Jumper. With enough snow cover it would disappear completely and he would feel more comfortable knowing that the ship was much closer to him and Teyla. He could take it up and out every few days once the deadline grew closer, find out if the pirates had visited and of course once they did return having the Jumper so much closer would be useful.

Of course there was another reason why he had set out today to bring the Jumper back and it had more to do with that sense of being caged in and the growing frustration. But, even amidst the isolated whiteness he could barely admit to himself that it was Teyla that he was running from. Who was he kidding? It had been since last week that he had begun to feel the desperate desire to 'leg it to the hills' as it were. Since he had woken up that night with her nestled so close to him by the fireplace. The darkened shadows had emphasised her beautiful dark eyes and the firelight had highlighted her golden complexion. She had lain so close, so soft and feminine that he had almost reached for her in his half asleep state. Then he had woken again to her tending the fire, the firelight now a golden aura surrounding her making her look like some kind of goddess watching over him. She had then crawled back towards where he had lain. Actually crawled towards him on her hands and knees and desire had flooded through him. He was sure she had been unaware that her top had been gaping open revealing her chest and belly beyond to him, but he had been very much aware. As she nestled down beside him he had forced the fantasies away, and resisted the very strong urge to pull her over him.

Then she had mentioned her people and her face had fallen into a sad lost expression that had torn at his heart and made him regretful of his growing arousal. There she was feeling the loss of her people, and most likely her ex-lover and he had been unable to think of anything but how she felt under his hand as he rubbed her arm to warm her. She was most likely thinking about Kanaan he had realised and had pulled his hand away from her. But, he had not been able to stop staring at her whilst she had fallen asleep.

Since then he had been unable to stop thinking of that moment with her. There had been tension between them before that they had dealt with easily enough on Atlantis John felt. But, here there was nowhere to go where she was not. They lived together and she was everywhere; looking so very hot, and smelling so wonderfully female. She was obviously so happy to have him as company now, so she smiled at him constantly and he had begun to hate it. For everything she did made his heart sped up a little. And he couldn't escape her. His only time away was during the day when he was working, and even then she usually appeared several times a day to see him and to talk with him and he had begun to resent her for it.

He had begun to get moody and withdrawn. She had noticed obviously and had tried to talk to him, thinking he was missing Atlantis. Her compassionate dark eyes studying him and all he could think was; what would she think if she knew the kind of thoughts he was really having? How he was lying awake at night down in the lounge, pretty much directly below her bedroom and how he could hear every time she turned over in her sleep. How he replayed her crawling towards him across the lounge floor, but in his head she crawled to him, sliding over his body. Once again he began cursing, moving quicker through the snow now, as if it would help curb the desire running hotly through his blood.

It wasn't that the attraction was anything new, hell he had had a thing for her for quite awhile, but then Kanaan and Tagan had entered into the picture. And to be honest he had worked to keep his crush to just that; a normal attraction to a beautiful woman who he worked with and respected and trusted above all others…. However, he was stuck with her all the time now and it was getting difficult to pretend anymore. And he had been so worried about her before. Not only had she had to endure being kidnapped by Michael, but then again by the Pirating slave traders. Her absence the first time had been difficult enough, but this last time he had missed her so much, longed for her even. Now, he was with her and she was so happy to see him. But, now that crush had grown into something else; something much more powerful and it was refusing to be denied this time. Add to that the sexual desire for her was getting stronger, perhaps now away from Atlantis, away from Kanaan's child it was more difficult to deny it anymore. And she was always there…looking so good…… Damn it!

--

Teyla entered the tavern, taking in all the bright shining eyes and guessed the party had already started some time ago. Lucas came running towards her, practically falling over a table in his hurry to get to her through the crowd.

"Teyla! Teyla! You made it. Thank you for coming." He said in one breath as he reached her. He clasped her shoulders in his strong callused hands and smiled so brightly at her.

"I would not miss you birthday celebration, Lucas. I am sorry that I am late." She responded.

It was nice to have such happy company for a change. John had been so withdrawn and tense this past week that she had herself begun to feel stressed and the loneliness had begun to creep back in. She had almost not come to Lucas' party, unwilling to leave the house with John out in the snow alone. He had refused to allow her to accompany him, saying that if anything happened to him then she would have to be the one to come looking for him. She believed the truth to be that he wanted space, so she had let him go alone. Then the snow storm had hit and she had spent most of the day fretting over him. What if he had gotten lost out in the barren snow laid landscape? He had told her about Polar Bears from Earth and how they were known to hunt humans, and the image had stuck with her, her imagination running away with itself. What if there was some deadly creature like that hiding out there in the snow that was secretly stalking him?

By mid afternoon she had gotten irritated with herself, knowing that John was easily capable of looking after himself and that she should trust his skills. So she had focused on how very annoying he had become this last week; it felt easier to be cross with him than worried for him. In truth she guessed she was being overly concerned as she had only just gotten him back and was frightened of being left alone on this world again.

So tonight she had attended the party. John estimated he would be back later that night, so she had decided to go to the tavern rather than sit waiting and worrying over John. He would be fine.

Lucas pushed a large mug of ale into her hand and navigated her through the crowd. She joined a group of friends, all rosy cheeked and very happy. As she listened to the conversation as they stood by the fire, she couldn't help but look back towards the window at the snow building up there and hear the wind against the building.

--

It was nearly completely dark by the time John had found the Jumper. It had taken so much longer than he had hoped to find the forest and then he had had to find his way through the dry branches and bracken of trees and dead shrubs to find the Jumper. He had hidden it so well and the light had faded so much that he had had to rely on the detector to lead him to its signal. Eventually he found it by pushing his way through a very sharp collection of bracken and had literally walked into it. Once he had picked himself up and out of the prickly bracken, he had worked his way round one side and found a massive mound of snow built up at the rear of the ship. The remote deactivated the Cloak and the familiar Jumper appeared in front of him. The back hatch had opened on his command, but the snow had built up too much behind it, so he had had to dig out enough for it to lower enough for him to struggle up and into the ship. Needless to say that by the time he stumbled into and onto the floor of the Jumper snow flakes scattering around him his mood had hit rock bottom.

He pulled the snow covered coat off as the hatch shut behind him. The ship lit up and a steady warm heat began to fill the space. He let out a loud sigh of relief. Making his way to the front as the ship began to run through pre-flight at his mental command, he pulled off his froze covered gloves and face protector and finally sat down into the pilot seat. The ship lifted up and out of the forest with ease, apparently spending so much time in freezing conditions meant nothing to the sturdy Jumper. John loved these ships!

Considering how long and how much effort it had taken for him to find the ship, it took no time to fly it back to the settlement. Keeping the cloak up he circled the wide hill of buildings and headed down towards the cave he had previously chosen at the foot of what was considered the back of the hillside. He had to land the ship first and dig out the entrance way some more, but then he nudged the ship into the cave, front first, leaving the back end extending only a little. Closing up the rear hatch he stood back and regarded his handy work. He reactivated the Cloak and watched as snow already began to cover the empty space. He estimated it would be covered in half an hour or so; it should be safe here for the next month or so.

He turned and stepped away from the protection of the cave, back out into the swirling cold snow. Pulling his hood back up and covering his face he began to trek round the hill back to the entrance of the settlement. Well over half an hour later he passed through the entrance way and up the path of the settlement at last. He struggled along slipping on the frozen stones. Muttering again he stepped delicately to the edges of the path, stepping cautiously on the snow piled at the edges so that he wouldn't end up flat on his back.

The wind tunnelled down the main pathway getting under his hood and he started up his swearing again, glad once again that Teyla hadn't joined him. He realised he was looking forward to seeing her now, but at the same time the frustration returned. He had wanted to get away and all he had managed to achieve was to frustrate and anger himself further. Well, he would get back to the house, change into some warm clothes and go straight to sleep.

He passed the tavern on his way to the house and heard the laughing and cheering within. He remembered then that it was someone's birthday party tonight; everyone would be there. Teyla had said she would attend and had asked him to promise to let her know when he had gotten back safely. John paused on the path. If he went home and changed he would only have to come out again and he really didn't want to have to do that. But, he was in no mood to go to a party. He decided he would make sure Teyla saw him alive and then head home. That was all that she needed.

Sighing with growing annoyance at the detour, he headed towards the bright lights of the tavern.

--

Teyla placed down her now empty mug of ale. She had managed to hold onto the one mug all night, drinking it slowly. Everyone assumed she had a full drink so she had avoided them giving her more ale. The women she sat with now had been excellent company. Though as the ale had flowed so had their tongues and the dirtier the conversations had become.

"And that Sheppard of yours, Teyla. That's a fine piece of man there!" Nancy remarked across the table at Teyla. The other women all jeered and laughed at that.

"Bet he keeps you warm at night!" Another older woman remarked. Teyla worked not to take offense.

"As I have told you before, John and I are just friends." She said patiently.

"I'll have him then!" Nancy said loudly, causing more laughter and cheers. Things were getting rather boisterous.

"Lucas will be happy to hear that. Go tell him Teyla, give him a nice fine Birthday gift that will!"

Teyla decided it was time to move on and away from these now highly inebriated friends. "I think I will be going now." She stood up from the table, trying not to smile too much as Nancy passed out onto her plate of cold meats. "I trust you will all be able to find your ways home?" She asked a little concerned.

"Don't worry about them, Teyla." Lucas said over her shoulder. She turned to find him still lucid enough. "They always get out of hand at birthday celebrations. Don't you girls?!" He shouted at the table, the women of all ages all lifted their mugs of ale and smiled, except Nancy of course.

"I am not sure I would describe them as 'girls' Lucas" Teyla commented with a smile.

"True, but when they're like this you have to just go with it." He lifted his mug at them and they all smiled at Teyla again, several attempting to wink at her. Lucas noticed she had no drink in her hand so reached out at a passing tray and handed her a full mug of ale. "There you go, don't want to upset the girls."

Teyla laughed as he inclined his head at their spectators. "We do appear to have an audience." She remarked.

Lucas smiled knowingly, his handsome features sparkling in the torch light. "I know. They know I am supposed to have a birthday kiss from every lady here tonight."

Teyla rolled her eyes. "I have not heard of that tradition here before."

"Well, there hasn't been a birthday celebration since you've been here!" He protested. He leant back towards the table of women. "Birthday kisses are a tradition aren't they girls?" They cheered and nodded in response. He turned back to Teyla. "So easy to gain support with an audience like that."

Teyla couldn't help laugh with him. She placed the mug down on the table. "Fine, one kiss on the cheek and then I am going home." She stood up on her toes and pressed a quick caste kiss against his soft cheek. The table to her left burst into hooting and cheers.

Teyla inclined her head to the table audience and turned from them towards the doorway. Her eyes suddenly met those of John, who was standing less than a metre away. Delight at seeing him alive and well was quickly side stepped by the dark intense expression he wore. She came up with a start and watched as his angry eyes slid to Lucas standing beside her. Confused as to what he had thought he had just witnessed she worked to break the sudden strange tension in the air.

"John, I am glad to see you have returned. I was just about to head home." She turned back to Lucas who was frustratingly enough returning John's staring match. "Good night Lucas and once again good wishes on your birthday." With that she turned and headed towards John, glaring at him as she did.

As she moved closer, crossing in front of him to break his direct view of Lucas, his angry eyes shifted to hers. "Found a replacement for Kanaan already?" He asked.

Teyla stopped shocked at his hurtful remark, so unexpected from him. She took a steadying breath in to control the rising anger. "What?"

"Jumper's secure and I survived the trip." He said rather bitterly she thought as he quickly turned and strode out, leaving her in the middle of the tavern.

Unwilling to allow him to treat her in such a way she pulled on her coat and headed out after him, catching up with him halfway to their house. He only walked quicker so she had to keep her choice words in till they reached their destination.

Once the door was open she shoved past him pushing off her coat in one angry motion. "I do not know what you think you saw back there, but you had no right to speak to me like that." She said to his back as he began to pull off his gloves and coat.

"Nothing to do with me." John said his back still to her as he threw down one glove then the other down beside his discarded boots.

"You sure thought it was something to do with you back in the tavern." She pushed as she kicked off her own boots. He finally turned back towards her, running a hand through his hair. She noticed absently that he looked very tired, but pushed that concern aside; right now she was angry with him.

"Well you sure were sharing it with the rest of the tavern weren't you?" He said turning away and heading off towards the kitchen.

Teyla was too shocked to say anything for a moment. How dare he say that? What had gotten into him that would make him act like this? She took further calming breaths, working to control her anger and to work out why he was behaving this way.

"You are tired and not thinking clearly. You are upset about being trapped here." She approached him as he carried a mug to the pan of hot water warming by the fire, pouring out the near boiling water. He turned back towards her the fire creating a dramatic background to his angry expression.

"Oh, I'm thinking clearly enough thank you. I'm just annoyed at having to spend the entire day slaving away to get the Jumper back here, to find you all warm and living it up against Mr Carpenter in the middle of the public tavern."

"You wanted to go alone to retrieve the Jumper. You would not allow me to accompany you, so do not blame me for your choice. You wanted to escape away by yourself and you got that. However I see that it did not improve your mood in the least." She replied hotly.

"In case you failed to notice there's a blizzard out there and over three foot of snow I had to trek through all day, so forgive me if I'm a little testy."

"You can be as 'testy' as you want in your own time, but I will not have you direct that anger at Lucas like that."

His eyes narrowed and he stepped closer, clutching his tea to his chest tightly. "Oh, I see. It's all about Mr Carpenter's feelings."

"His name is Lucas." She said back aggressively.

"I don't give a shit. Maybe I should just get in that Jumper and leave you to be with Mr Carpenter. He's a bit young for you though isn't he, Teyla?"

Teyla was beyond shocked at John; she had never heard him talk like this before. She became aware that she had one fist clenched up tightly at her side. She drew in air through her nose, clenching her jaw to hold back the angry words she felt like shouting back at him.

"I will talk to you tomorrow when you are in a more mature mood and able to discuss this reasonably." She said through clenched teeth.

With that she turned from him and strode towards the stairs, intent to head up to her bedroom where she wouldn't have to deal with him. She planned on slamming her door loudly. But, as she reached the bottom of the stairs his hand clamped around her arm stopping her. She whirled round at him.

"I want to talk about this now." He insisted.

"I do not." She replied.

"Is that what you want then is it? The Carpenter?" He asked as he neared her, his hand still around her arm. She looked up into his eyes and saw there a strange wildness in him behind the anger. He was too upset right now to talk to and her own anger was held back with the thinnest of threads. Teyla found herself stepping back from him, feeling the bottom step of the staircase against the back of her legs.

"Let go of me, John." She warned. Though she was in no doubt about her safety with John, she still did not like the restraint on her.

"Oh I've tried." He said back. Then suddenly he was reaching out with his other hand wrapping his hand behind her neck and his mouth was upon hers. She barely registered the first action, only becoming aware of the press of his lips against hers. Then something burst within her. The anger that had been pouring through her abruptly became a hot powerful lust. She had no control of it and she found herself kissing him back with a violent passion.

He pressed his body flat against her, pushing her backwards down and onto the uncomfortable steps of the staircase. She struggled against them and him, her movements lost in desperation; between finding a comfortable position and in pulling him closer to her. He was pulling at her clothes and she was aware that she was clawing at his belt and trousers. His tongue swept over her lips so she parted them and he pressed deeply, devouring her. Her hands abandoned his belt and moved up to his head clutching at his hair, holding him to her as she wrestled his tongue to enter his mouth in return.

His hand closed over one bared breast, kneading and pulling and she ached up against him, trying to shift herself into a more comfortable position on the stairs to no avail. Then his hand was on her inner thigh and she broke the kiss as his fingers slid past her underwear to her hot centre. He licked and kissed his way down her throat hurriedly until he reached a breast and she moaned loudly at the feel of his mouth over her nipple. He dominated her completely, pressing her down, his mouth on her breast and his fingers now sliding into her. She wriggled against him, against the lust and the anger that still tingled through her. Her body betrayed her by responding to him so instantly, his fingers soaking wet between her legs.

His mouth switched over to her other breast as he pulled his fingers from her, pulling at his belt, finishing what she had started. Then he was pushing against her opening, forcing his way into her very willing body. She reached down to dig her nails into his backside, pulling him firmly and deeply into her. He slid deep, filling her completely and they both groaned loudly at the feel of it. He paused, his mouth suddenly up by her ear and it was with a voice she barely recognised that he demanded to know if they needed to use protection.

Somehow through the haze of it all she was able to focus her thoughts enough to tell him no. She had no doubt in her mind as she had just finished her bleed and they both had been cleared by Keller for their last mission. As she told him that she dug her nails further against him, clawing up his back as he began to thrust into her. The steps bit into her back and she struggled away from them. He seemed to understand enough to slide his arms around her, pulling her back and hips away from the stairs and he dropped onto one knee on a step below her. That helped and brought her tighter against his groin and he moved in her with more force now with his better leverage and she felt herself already responding. Within her a wave of need was suddenly being met and it was transforming into a vastly growing pleasure. It was so close and so overwhelming that she surrendered herself to it completely, grinding back against him, her skirts caught up between them and his shirt pushed up under his arms.

He locked his lips against her throat, his moans and grunts of pleasure only fuelling her own onwards. She slid her hands into his hair, pulling him tighter as he thrust harder into her, their rhythm now wild and far beyond any kind of control or rational thought. The wave of bliss broke powerfully through her and she arched her body against his, her head thrown back against the stairs, her hands clasping his neck. He burst into his release moments later shuddering against her repeatedly, his teeth against her shoulder.

The waves passed but her body still pulsed from the physical raw climax, clutching at him still, her breathing fast and shallow. He began to collapse against her, his hold on her lessening as he gave in to the exhaustion he to felt. She kept her arms around him, as he did her, as they both crumpled down the steps, both panting against each other as they slid to the floor.

--

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

--

John's breathing began to slow enough for him to be able to think. He stared up at the ceiling above him and blinked over at her beside him. Their legs were still tangled together where they had fallen at the foot of the stairs. He lay on his back still panting, whilst she lay mostly on her front beside him, her forehead against the rug that covered the floor.

He couldn't believe what had just happened! How had that happened? The pent up anger and near fury he had felt before felt completely alien to him now, his body buzzing and softening with tiredness. He turned his head as much as he could to see her still panting beside him, her eyes closed. He recalled his very harsh words to her and regretted his behaviour, well right up until he had kissed her, after that he was pretty happy with his behaviour. She hadn't appeared too unhappy either, but it was far from the ideal way to express your affection for a woman; to ravish her on a staircase. He struggled with what he should say to her now; would she regret her actions? Should he apologise?

He opened his mouth and oddly the first thing he said was "I'm sorry what I said about Lucas."

Whilst he was trying to work out where those words had come from, she opened her eyes and turned her head towards him, her cheek now pressed against the carpet.

"_That_ is what you are apologising for?" She said in a breathy laugh. He hoped that meant she wasn't mad at him. But, he wasn't sure what else she wanted him to apologise for, as he sure as hell didn't want to say he was sorry for what had just happened. She had come so powerfully along with him, surely she couldn't regret it. Could she?

"Should I apologise for more?" He asked seriously, his mouth apparently now attached to his heart.

She regarded him through the firelight, her breathing slower now. He began to feel panicked under her scrutiny, but he didn't look away from her.

"No." She said with a soft smile.

Relief burst through him and he had to look away, back up to the ceiling and he allowed himself to smile. "Thank God." He admitted out loud.

She chuckled beside him as she began to struggle up from the floor. She closed her shirt around herself and pulled her legs out from his. Her skirts had been lying over both their legs and she sat up briefly enough to rearrange them around her and then slumped back down on the floor on her back beside him. John tucked himself back into his trousers and pulled his shirt back down.

"I suppose now would be the time to mention I've had kind of a major crush on you for awhile?" He said amused at himself.

She laughed again and he looked round at her. Her cheeks were rosy and her lips full as she looked over at him. "Then I should admit the same."

"Thank God again for that." He muttered, his body feeling ever so heavy now. "I guess we should talk." He rubbed one hand over his face, stubble grazing his palm. He needed to sleep, but he knew women needed to talk things out, and this was all new territory with her and he wasn't entirely sure where he stood now.

Teyla struggled up into a sitting position. "I need to get cleaned up and out of these day clothes first."

Her comment had been innocent enough, but his mind now saw the other more interesting take to her words. She apparently noticed his raised interested eyebrow and she swatted him on the leg as she clambered to her feet. He felt oddly smug that her legs were a little unstable under her.

"Okay." He offered rather sleepily as he sat up slowly. His knee was aching considerably and he took his time standing as well. She disappeared up stairs so he headed out to the washroom next to the kitchen.

Cleaned up a bit he headed back into the lounge and sat down on the soft comfortable cushions by the fire. He couldn't resist lying back against them for a bit, his body aching from the day's activities and from the wonderful release he had just enjoyed.

--

Teyla stared at herself in the tiny murky mirror over the wash basin and couldn't help but be amused at her shocked expression. She could barely believe what had just happened. And it had been so very good.

All those years of longing for John Sheppard had not been in vain as she had previously resigned herself to. He not only returned her sentiments, but had apparently been feeling the same for awhile as well. She shook her head at the bizarreness of it all. Yet, she wasn't sure how to handle him now. He wanted to talk and some part of her did as well, yet she feared what he may say. What if he wanted nothing more than something casual; she would never want that. When she loved she loved fully and deeply. Had she just used the word 'love'? She stared at herself again in the mirror, another shocked expression looking back. Well, she was going to have to make sure not to say that to him; that would be a sure way to frighten him off. Never one to really express himself, she was going to have to tread carefully here.

Yet, hadn't she always wanted this; a proper relationship with John? To enjoy him in everyway she had fantasised about before? The face in the mirror began to flush red; there was no need to go down that road. She had just experienced the real thing and never had she expected it to have been so very powerful. She realised she wasn't sure how long she had been in the washroom, and that he may be concerned about her. So she finished up and headed out of the room into the kitchen, her night robe held tightly around her against the night chill.

She spied John on the cushions by the dying fire still in his day clothes, but as she approached she could clearly see that he was in fact in a deep sleep. He lay flat on his back, his head to one side and one hand over his chest. She stood over him and took in the handsome sight. A very affectionate caring emotion moved through her then. She walked the short distance to his bed and pulled his blankets free. Kneeling down beside him she arranged them over him, covering him right up to his chin and she stayed by him studying him. She allowed herself to really look at him now; his hair, his features, his dark eyelashes lying against his cheeks and his very full lips. Lips she had been kissing not that long ago. She reached out and stroked light fingertips down one of his cheeks. Oh, she was in trouble with him. She had always known it really, and had even been warned about it by several friends, but she knew it was hopeless. Sometime, long ago, perhaps even during that first encounter back on Athos, some part of her had seriously softened in regards to his man. Some part of her loved him intensely and though she knew that meant there was the potential for deep hurt, that she had been enduring for the past years, it also help deep promise.

He stirred slightly under her touch, grunting and murmuring, but he remained undisturbed. She decided then to stay next to him, so she pulled up one side of the blankets and tucked herself in beside him. He may not want a deep and long lasting relationship like her, but she could at least enjoy tonight. Enjoy being against him, within his warmth and to draw in his scent, now mixed with her own.

--

John was feeling good again, despite being right out in the cold again today tending the stupid little cabbages. His fingers were chilled even through the thick gloves, but he didn't really notice. Not after what happened last night. His mind was on over drive, running through what had happened over and over again, which helped to warm him somewhat against the cold.

He had woken this morning to the chimes of the hall bells announcing the start of the day. He had slept all night in the lounge against the cushions in a deep sleep of oblivion and he had felt much rested for it. What had especially made his morning was looking over to find Teyla beside him, not a foot away like before, but pressed up to his side this time. She had looked equally as rested and sleepy.

"We are late for chores." She had muttered, but had made no real attempt to move.

John had contemplated various moves he could have made then, but he had still been in his clothes from yesterday and his back had begun to cease up. He needed to get up and shower before someone came looking for them. And oddly he had felt inclined to actually have a conversation with her following last night first. But, he didn't want to miss the opportunity so he had sat up and then leant down over her. Her sleepy eyes had greeted him with a smile and he felt encouraged enough to press his lips to hers in a morning kiss. She had returned the touch briefly and then sighed out a murmur as she settled back against the cushions. The pleasurable murmur had almost undone his resolve not to make a move then and there, but she would hardly want him all over her when he was still all grubby from yesterday. So he had taken one last kiss and stood up.

"Come on then sleeping beauty, we both need to get up." He had announced as he had pulled the blankets up off her. She had grunted in protest, but he had enjoyed the view of her partially bared legs and belly from under her night clothes.

She had glared up at him and then rather grudgingly begun to get up as well. After they had both gotten ready for work they met in the kitchen for a quick breakfast. Sitting down at the table together the atmosphere had suddenly changed into expectation. It had worried him, as he really wasn't sure what to say. He had cleared his throat around his porridge and taken the first step of sorts.

"So, I'm gonna go apologise to Lucas this morning."

She licked porridge from her lips and looked up at him amused. "Alright."

That hadn't given him much to start with, so he decided to push it a little and see if he could get a rise out of her. "He really is a little young anyway."

She frowned at him, but he could tell she knew what he was trying to do; to break the tension a bit and ease into this conversation.

"Are you saying I'm not supposed to attract younger men?" She asked rather playfully.

"Teyla, most of the male population of Atlantis are attracted to you, regardless of age." He replied honestly, but then wanted to take back what he had said. "Not that I count myself as just one of them." Okay, that didn't sound right. "I mean I do find you attractive, obviously." He inclined his head back towards the stairs, the site of last night's actions. "But, it's different to them; what they feel."

She put her spoon down into her now empty bowl and leant on an elbow towards him. "How is it different?"

Okay, he had walked right into that one. She perched her chin in her palm, watching with obvious amusement. Why was it women took such delight in watching men dig themselves deeper into such holes?

He struggled to work out the best reply to that. "I mean they don't know you like I do. They don't work with you or spend as much time with you to get to know you properly."

"I have gotten to know several male members of Atlantis very well, outside those on our team." She said, still enjoying him squirm.

"Who?" He demanded. "Is it that marine, Jones or whatever his name is?"

She smiled at him then, taking further pleasure in his abrupt burst of jealousy. "I have been training with many of the marines. Especially lately."

That had changed the tone of the conversation. He hadn't trained with her for a long time. What with her pregnancy and then his rather resentful feelings over Kanaan, he had stayed away from her once she had restarted training.

She dropped her chin from her hand and crossed her arms over one another on the edge of the table. "I love my son, John. I would never want to change anything that brought him into existence."

"I know. I kind of like the little guy myself." Their eyes both drifted over to the photo of Tagan John had brought with him. It was up on the wall by the table, where she could see it all the time.

"I love him, but I did not plan to have him." She confessed quietly. "Kanaan and I were old friends and we spent much time together whilst I was living on New Athos."

John shifted in his seat, he didn't really like hearing about Kanaan, but he was also glad she was sharing with him.

"And you showed no apparent interest." She continued.

John looked back at her from the photo of the smiling Tagan with their team mates. He had always been bitter about Kanaan, and it did not help to hear that in a way he had helped to push her into the man's arms.

"You know I'm not all that good at expressing myself, Teyla." He said eventually, his eyes on the table before him. "I didn't want to risk the team or…. You know…"

She rescued him by reaching out and laying a hand over his. "You do not need to explain yourself."

"But you just did." He replied. "And after last night…" he took a breath. "I'm sorry about how I have behaved. Not just lately, but since I heard you were pregnant." He confessed in a rush. He looked up at her, imploring her to understand him, as she so often seemed to do. "It was difficult for me."

She nodded and squeezed his hand. Then came a polite knock at their door.

"We are very late for chores." She said as she stood up and away from him heading towards the door.

It had been Merryweather concerned that something had happened. Apparently many people had been too ill after last night's excessive drinking to get to the chores and they needed all hands on deck as it were.

So here he was elbow deep in cabbages and his mind lingering on last night and this morning. They hadn't really cleared anything up between them, but at least they had talked. He still wasn't sure where he stood with her, but he guessed he would find out soon.

He had however taken one of his earlier breaks to go check on the Jumper. It had been nicely concealed and had he not been actively looking for it in the right place he doubted anyone would have been able to spot it. He had taken the opportunity to also slip inside to dig through the supplies within. Behind the main first aid kit was a small box of spare bandages and where everyone knew a box of condoms was kept. No one mentioned it, but everyone knew they were there. The unspoken rule was to replace what you took. John pushed aside all the vacuum packed sterile bandages and dressings until he located the box. It was a completely full new box, which said to John that someone else had been using quite a lot lately. Not that he was complaining. After a moment's consideration he pocketed the entire box and set about clearing everything back into place, making a mental note to replace it if he needed to in the future. Not that he was sure he was going to need them, but better safe than sorry and he didn't want to have to trek out to the Jumper again for more.

It was just after he and the other two workers had had their lunch break later that Lucas had appeared.

"I heard you were looking for me?" The younger man called out as he approached John.

John turned, pulling aside his face protector. He wasn't sure but he got the feeling that Lucas was a little intimidated by him. The poor guy obviously had a major crush on Teyla and John suddenly felt a connection with him.

"Hi, yes. You got a minute?" John asked. Lucas nodded and came to a rest next to John. Little snow was falling today, as it was almost too cold for anything other than a few flurries to fall against their faces. "I wanted to apologise if I was rude to you last night. I'd had a long hard day and took it out on you."

Lucas looked surprised for a moment. "Did you take it out on Teyla as well?" He asked frowning.

John understood what the guy was worried about and he respected the guy slightly more for it. Not that it didn't annoy him as well.

"No. Teyla and I are… very good friends. She has forgiven me for being such an ass."

Lucas obviously didn't understand the saying, but he got the gist. He nodded. "Then no harm has been done. I accept your apology."

"Great. Glad we cleared that up." John replied. But Lucas didn't move to leave instead pursed his lips thinking and John had a burst of insight as to what Lucas was about to ask.

"So you and Teyla; you are just good friends? Or are you more than that? Because last night you seemed pretty… territorial."

The word surprised John, as he had never really associated himself with that kind of behaviour, but he guessed it was pretty close to the mark. He wasn't sure how to answer the question anyway. What were he and Teyla? Lovers now? Did one time count? Would she want him as a lover? Why couldn't he stop thinking the word 'lover'? It felt nice to associate her with that word, but it was far too pale for what he really wanted.

He turned to Lucas and with an honest smile he said, "In truth I'm not sure what we are, but I would like more." It felt odd admitting these personal things to someone he barely knew, but it a way it was easier and more liberating. Lucas nodded with clear understanding and turned to go.

"I wish you two well. You take care of her and get her home to her son." He said as he turned and walked off through the light snowfall.

"I will." John promised quietly as he watched the rather sad young man walk away. It brought John's mood down slightly as well. He wasn't that far away from Lucas. One word of rejection from Teyla and he would be as sad and lonely looking as Lucas was right now. But, whereas Lucas was a young man with a life full of willing women in his future, John's was quite different. He was not a youthful kid barely out of his teen years, full of hormones and staring wide eyed at the world. He knew what horrors there were out there, and the joys. And Teyla was very much part of the joy category; one that he had not been willing to pursue up until now. With that thought he turned back to his cabbage tending, willing away the cold and went back to pondering Teyla some more.

--

Teyla had spent the day preparing the meeting hall for the festivities tonight. It was a festival in honour of the new spring, but Teyla had seen no obvious, or even vague, indications of such a seasonal change. But, then this was another world and perhaps she just did not recognise the signs. She tied the last banner in place and stepped down and back to contemplate the decorations. They were bright enough, but considering the tinsel and lavish colours Earth people used to celebrate their holidays, this display was rather dull. But, it did not change the importance of the event.

She turned to the window, stretching her neck to see the small area of cabbage beds near the hall. John was working the plots today, the team would work their way around the settlement through all the beds. But, it appeared they had still not reached the beds near the hall. She thought on the matter for only a moment and headed towards the doorway. Calling out to her fellow workers that she would be back in a few minutes she pulled her coat on over her shoulders like a cloak, keeping her arms deep within the warmth as she stepped out into the day's brutal cold.

There was barely any snow in the air, but the large amount that had fallen these past days had frozen solidly over the paths and it made traversing the settlement rather tedious and slow. Yet, she worked her way slowly and easily enough out to the highest point of the settlement and looked out over the buildings, her eyes scanning the cabbage beds. Then she spied Lucas heading away from one set and she strained further to see the cabbage team hard at work nearby.

With a sense of growing pleasure she made her way down towards those beds. It was a lesser populated area of the settlement, so the beds were wider and took longer to work. John was on the nearest end, the others spread out further away. Good, he was by himself, so she didn't feel so conspicuous going to see him. Not that she wasn't allowed, people regularly visited those tending the cabbages as it was the most unpleasant and demanding of jobs in this weather.

It was difficult to make out much of his features beneath his heavy coat, gloves and face protector, but she would recognise the way he moved anywhere. Not only had they been watching each others' backs in the team for years, but she had been so much more aware of him than of other men. And now, since last night even, that awareness had grown. This morning whilst preparing breakfast together and sitting at the table she had been so vividly conscious of him; of how he moved, how he tilted his head, the little unique gestures and form of his body that made him; him. That uniqueness of him was obvious to her even through such heavy layers of protective clothing. As she neared she realised she had an overwhelming urge to strip him of those layers and enjoy the warm man beneath.

She arrived at the edge of the cabbage beds and approached him. He stood up from his work and was jigging about on the spot. She knew that dance well; it was against the cold. He had spent all day out here when it was especially cold and after spending all day yesterday out in the deep snow by himself. She wondered what kind of mood he would be in.

He finally noticed her approaching and the jigging stopped as he headed over towards her, climbing out and down from the bed to meet her on the path. He pulled his face protector down and his smiling face appeared.

"Hey, Teyla." He greeted obviously happy to see her.

She stepped up close to him, hugging the edges of the coat to her. "How is it going?" She asked, looking over the lines of cabbages with a growing skilled eye.

"Not bad, bit cold though." He began to jig about a bit again. She got the impression he wanted to step closer, perhaps to touch her.

"How's it going in Beowulf's hall then?" He asked, touching her on the arm briefly through her coat.

She laughed at the name. "When we are back in Atlantis you will have to show me this story."

"We'll watch the movie. Well movies actually, there have been various versions. I like the latest animated one." He commented, smiling broadly at her, his eyes shining.

"In answer to your question; we have just finished the decorations. I wanted to remind you that we should attend the festival. It starts just after the chore shift, so everyone can be there."

He groaned slightly at that. "I was hoping to get home and get some hot food before the festival."

"There is some of that stew you made left over from yesterday. I will heat it up and bring some out and we can eat it before the festival." She offered.

His smile returned. "That would be great." He then stepped closer leaning in and whispered conspiratorially "As long as there's no cabbage in it."

She laughed with him. He stayed close to her, and she felt his indecision. So she made the move. She reached out from under her coat, reaching up to his neck, readjusting his scarf for him. He angled his neck aside for her as she pulled the fabric about, whilst he held her coat around her, stopping it from falling from her shoulders.

"Do you want me to bring you out something warmer?" She asked. She worked on the scarf and then pulled open his coat and set about tucking the ends of the scarf down against his chest, adding further protection on the inside of his coat fastenings when it would be closed.

"No, I'll be fine." He said, his voice a little deeper than normal, indicating he wasn't unaffected by her standing so close and playing him such attention.

Happy the scarf was correctly adjusted she flatted one hand against his chest and slid the other around him beneath his coat and she lifted up towards his mouth. She caught the flash of pleasure in his eyes just before he dipped his head and his lips pressed against hers. His tongue begged for entrance almost immediately and she willingly allowed it, kissing him back with just enough passion to make it clear to him that she remembered last night. His arms came up around her more fully, pulling her closer as he re-angled his head to kiss her deeper. She pulled back then, not wanting them to lose themselves to kissing in public view. As they parted she licked his lower lip once, hoping to sooth his slight disappointment. He grunted in pleasure as they parted, and she saw his eyes were considerably darker than before. His gaze immediately fell to her lips and she smiled up at him.

"Warmer?" She asked, as she set about closing his coat for him, but kept her body close, his arms still around her back.

"Yep." He muttered. "Though, I do need my blood in my extremities out here in the cold really."

She laughed briefly at him as she secured his coat and scarf one last time and stood back from him. He pouted with disappointment, his arms reluctantly falling from her as she stepped back.

"I will see you for our picnic before the festival." She said as she moved away.

As she walked back up the path towards the hall, she was sure he was watching her leave; the back of her neck warm under his eyes. As she headed back amongst the building and soon to be blocked from his view she turned and looked back over her shoulder towards him and sure enough he was watching her. She smiled and moved on. John Sheppard liked her a lot.

--

TBC tomorrow…


	5. Chapter 5

--

John didn't move more than a foot away from her for the entire evening. They had enjoyed their stew picnic on the edge of the cabbage beds, but several others had joined them in snacking before the festivities began. Not that it hadn't been enjoyable, but Teyla had been looking forward to spending time alone with John. After the picnic everyone headed to the main hall through which various songs were sung and gifts symbolically presented to the Ancestors to bring a fruitful spring. Everyone was pretty serious during the ceremonies, but once let out into the tavern the usual jovial mood returned.

Teyla picked up her ale and sipped a little more, unwilling as ever to drink more than one mug of the potent liquid. And she needed no extra stimulation to enjoy the evening. John had sat beside her the entire time, his arm along the back of her chair for most of it. His body language and the sparkle in his eyes conveyed quite clearly what he was thinking about. It only made her draw out their time in the tavern longer, enjoying the intensity of his eyes upon her, and the possessiveness that seemed to be emanating from him tonight. He had only touched her once or twice to guide her to a seat or to encourage her to go first through a door, but she felt like he had been caressing her the entire evening. She felt beautiful and desired. She wondered if it had been the kiss she had instigated earlier that had caused this in him. That she had ended it so quickly leaving him wanting more. He wanted more this evening she could tell and he wasn't trying to hide it from her. He was polite and chatted away with everyone, but it was very clear to her that he was simply there to please her and he was waiting till they could leave. Till they could be alone. The idea flushed her skin and made her feel so more light headed with joy than any that alcohol could achieve.

The tavern began to empty earlier tonight than usual, most likely due to the hangovers from last night's celebrations. Teyla remained talking to Merryweather telling him of Old Athos, John added the odd comment here and there. As the night wore on further she began to sense John's growing impatience and anticipation. His arm which had been either along the back of her chair or close to hers left her. She looked round at the sudden absence of his closeness to see him standing up and moving away from the table. He indicated the washroom and headed off, leaving her with Merryweather.

Whilst he was gone she fell into a deep discussion with Merryweather over the history of their Stargate, when John reappeared; he had his coat on and was holding hers in one hand. You couldn't get more obvious a hint than that. She met his eyes and smiled benignly and stood up from the table, saying her goodnights to Merryweather and the other remaining drinkers. John slipped the coat over her shoulders for her and with a hand on the small of her back he guided her out into the falling snow. She tried not to smile at his attempts to encourage her to walk faster. However she walked at a casual pace cautious still of the iced snow on the path. As she did she told him of the history she had learnt about the Stargate.

"Merryweather told me that the Stargate disappeared only four generations ago."

"I wouldn't be surprised if that coincided with when those Pirates started offering their 'services' as traders." John replied.

She looked round at him as best as she could whilst bundled up in her hood and coat. "You believe they took the gates?"

"Makes sense; they first create a need for their services and then swop in to save the day."

"That may mean that they are storing the gates somewhere." She considered.

"Or using them for something, like we did for the Galactic Bridge." He added.

"Did they use any gates whilst you were following them?" She asked.

"No, they took the long route using sub-light drive only." They were nearing the housing area.

"What were their ships like?" She asked ideas forming in her mind. "Were they Ancestor technology or Wraith?"

"A couple were that I saw, but the one I followed most of the way looked like a stolen Travelers' vessel."

Teyla couldn't help the stab of jealousy that insinuated itself at the thought of Larrin, the Travelers' beautiful leader whom John had flirted with in the past. "Could they be Travellers?" She asked, hoping to hide her jealous thoughts from him.

"I don't think so, but I didn't see much of the Travelers' society during my stays there other than their prison cells and their awful food." He said back with a grimace. "It may be worth telling them about it though; maybe they can do something or know something about where these pirates come from."

Teyla doubted that Larrin would do anything that didn't directly benefit her. These pirates may even be a sideline part of their society, bringing in goods and supplies for their ship ridden people. Teyla found herself wondering once again how close John and Larrin had gotten. She looked at him out the corner of her hood.

"Would Larrin help?" She asked carefully as they neared their home, walking carefully along the short icy path to the front door.

"I don't know." John said rather absently, reaching past her to open the door for her.

They stepped into the house, the air chilled but the fire was still lit enough to create enough light and warmth to enter comfortably. John shut the door behind them and set about removing his heavy weather gear.

Teyla pulled off her boots and thick socks, placed her coat quickly on its customary hook and headed towards the fireplace, leaving John by the door. As she did she pulled off her jumper and dropped in on the floor. Then she reached down and pulled her shirt up and off, dumping it aside as well. She kept walking towards the fire keeping her back to him. She pulled off her vest tossing it aside and then reached behind her waist to pull at the skirt's clasp. Once it was loose she paused to wriggle enough for the thick layered skirt to fall from her hips, pooling at her feet. She stepped out of it, almost at the fireplace, now only dressed in her underwear. She picked up a couple of logs and tossed them over the fire protector to feed the dim flames and finally turned back towards John.

He was still standing by the door, his mouth all but hanging open, and his eyes dark and wide. She tilted her head to one side and lifted an eyebrow.

--

John could barely breathe. He had been busy trying to get out of his damn coat which he had been stuck in most of the day and working out how to get Teyla off the subject of Stargates and onto more interesting topics. He had noticed her jumper fall to the ground nearby and looked round to tell her, but instead watched as she pulled her shirt off and threw it aside. She walked steadily towards the fireplace removing clothing, unwrapping herself like some magical gift. Her skirts fell from her hips revealing the graceful lines of her toned legs, the firelight dancing over her skin. Then she had turned towards him an eyebrow lifted as if asking him why he was still over there with his coat in his hand. It was a good question.

He dropped the coat and headed towards her. As he neared her she reached behind her and the Athosian bra dropped loosely around her waist and then fell to the floor. He pulled at his jacket chucking it aside across the cushions as he approached her. As he got to her she was already reaching for the hem of his shirt helping to pull it up and off him. He was immensely pleased to see her look of obvious approval at his bare chest before she slid her hands over his skin. He paused inches from her, her fingers caressing over his sides, encouraging him further towards her, but he didn't quite want to yet, to lose this image of her in the firelight before him.

He reached forward and slid his palms over the tops of her hips, her skin smooth and warm. Her hands clasped his sides pulling him more forcefully towards her and he looked up to her eyes, dark with desire. He slipped his fingers down the back of her hips easing her last piece of underwear from her body. She wriggled briefly again and the fabric dropped from her and from his fingers down to the carpet. He watched the last barrier fall away, as he felt her hands on his belt, freeing him from his. He lingered his hands over her behind as she swept hers down his pushing his trousers and boxers from him. He wriggled himself allowing them to drop to his feet and he kicked them absently away. Then they were both naked before each other.

He looked up from his perusal of her body up to her throat then to her smiling eyes, which had just finished their travels over his body. They gazed at each other for a moment, then her lips parted and he stepped in to her, pressing himself against her. They both gasped at the full body contact just before their lips met. John kissed her deeply, making it clear how very much he wanted her as he caressed up and down her back, trying to touch as much of her as he could in one go. She pressed back against him, moaning into the kiss, her hands trailing up his neck into his hair and she tightened her hold on him, her body writhing against his.

He broke the kiss to lick and bite gently down her throat and up again, wanting to taste every part of her at once. She groaned, one leg coming up against his hip. He caught her thigh and pulled it higher. She sighed in pleasure, whispering his name into his ear at which he wrapped his other arm around her back and in one quick motion lowered her down to the floor.

--

He lay over her, pressing her into the carpet and she clung to him. His mouth slid down from her collar bone and down the centre of her chest. She arched up; eyes closed, enjoying his lavish attention. He tongued his way down her cleavage, and straight down to her belly button, one hand over her left breast and the other still massaging her thigh wrapped around him. She knew this time wasn't going to last much longer than the last, but she didn't care. The desperate need that had been woken last night had returned, demanding of him, pleading of him to touch her everywhere and to fill her. He seemed to understand all of that, his hands caressing as much of her as he could, his mouth settling down between her legs. She cried out, gripping at his hair as the passion swept over her. Her mind floated away, her body panting and heaving through the climax.

Her awareness returned to feel him sliding his body up over hers, a very satisfied look in his eyes. She wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled him to her for a deep kiss, feeling him nudging at her entrance. She was aware that at some point he had pulled on the earth style contraception, guessing it had been whilst she had been returning to her pleasure filled body. She flattened out her legs wide, opening for him and he slid into her. This time it was slow and purposeful as he entered her. Once nestled deeply in her he pulled back from the kiss and looked down at her. She looked up into his dilated eyes and saw the act was as important to him as it was to her. He held still within her, as he adjusted his arms, supporting her shoulders, his hands cupping the back of her head. A wave of intense emotion threatened to spill tears out onto her cheeks, but she held back. He held her like she was the most precious being he had ever held.

She trailed the fingertips of both of her hands down his cheeks to his chin, dancing over his lower lip. He caught one between his teeth, passion once again returning. She reached up and pressed her lips to his once again and he began to move; the movements satisfying, yet not quite enough yet. She pulled at his back, and he lay down fully over her, the strong lines and planes of his muscular body teasing against her skin. She broke the kiss stretching her head back and he moved faster, rocking her against the floor. She swept her hands up and down his slick back, enjoying the changing musculature under his skin as he moved. He pulled on her hips as he thrust into her, increasing the intensity.

It was all too much. This was John touching her, filling her. The emotion of it all was only building her need. She was aware that he was losing his rhythm, so close himself. She clung to him, and he returned his attention to kissing her throat and jaw. She gasped his name, clawing at his back begging him to complete this, to bring the pleasure to a new height.

Then it was crashing over her, her entire body clenching against and around him. He cried out her name, pounding a few times into her emptying himself in a rush and it sparked another wave of intensity for her. She arched up and cried out his name once again and he held her tightly to him, his hands on her hips locking her groin to his as he shuddered through the last of his climax.

With practically identical timing they gasped loudly one last time and collapsed down, her flat to the carpet and him partially over her. Both panting, their bodies limp and uncoordinated.

"We are definitely doing that again." He gasped out. "My god." He added.

She could only nod in agreement; that had been amazing. Her heart was still thundering in her chest.

He tried to lift from her, but he appeared to be unable so he simply fell sideways off her. She found herself chuckling at his loud groan and swear word as he fell beside her, one arm still flung over her and his fast breathing stirring her hair.

"You okay?" He asked.

She turned her head to look at him with a large contented smile. "Oh, yes." She reached over as best she could and rolled over towards him.

He smiled in return, his eyes bright but dazed as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her up against him. She placed a hand over his chest, running her fingers through the slight hair.

"Remind me why we haven't been doing this before?" He asked, still short of breath.

"Because you were too foolish to let me know you were interested in me." She said against his shoulder.

"I am a stupid man. You have my permission to call me every bad name under the sun from now onwards, any sun."

She laughed silently at that, but her body was becoming cold. He must have felt the shiver that went through her as his hand swept up over her goose-bumped arm.

"Want to move this to the bed or shall I just pull the blankets over here?" He asked his voice growing lazy with relaxation.

She looked over at his bed pushed up against the far wall. "It seems too far away." She complained.

He twisted, sitting up, pulling her limp body with him. She groaned in protest, but went with it. He reached down and threaded one arm under her knees as he stood upright lifting her easily enough and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Which bed then my lady?" He asked, smiling down at her in his arms.

She looked up at the half floor above them. "My bed is bigger, if you can make it up the stairs with me." She teased.

He cocked an eyebrow and headed towards the stairs. It had been a long time since someone had carried her, and on reflection she realised it had been him last time. But then he had not been thinking straight and she had been shot in the leg. Then they had been hampered by their vests and weapons; now it was all just naked skin, which she thoroughly enjoyed spreading her hands over his as he climbed up the stairs with her.

He carried her into her bedroom, a room he hadn't been in before. It wasn't quite as warm as downstairs in here, but once they were under the heavy covers it would be fine. He walked straight over to the large bed, put one knee on the top and carefully lowered her onto the covers. She released his neck rather unwillingly as he let go of her and then reached past her to pull the covers back. She edged backwards and climbed under the blankets he held up for her. He slid in beside her. It was cool under there but they reached for each other immediately, pressing their bodies together against the chill.

He rubbed his hands over her arms and back to help warm her and she tucked her legs among his, settling against him. He held her to him, and relaxed back against her pillows with a loud sigh.

She lay her head on his chest, his arm around her shoulders and took a few moments to enjoy the sound of his heartbeat and the feel of his skin before she fell fast asleep.

--

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

--

As the following two months passed it occurred to John that his life had become one of contrasts. He lived two lives, both in stark contrast to each other. During the day he worked in the settlement, usually in the cold, the light vaguely pale blue against the ever falling snow. He worked hard, enjoyed speaking with the inhabitants and stayed pretty fit and healthy. As the two and half month mark arrived since his arrival he began to visit the Jumper every day. He scanned for any ships in orbit and had now begun taking the ship up once a day as well. Partly for the joy of flying again, which he missed, but also as he most certainly didn't want to miss the next arrival of the Pirate ship that would be their ticket off this cold world. He also had begun storing their supplies in the Jumper for when they left, as there was no guarantee how long it would take them to find a Gate through which to return home. And so he spent his days; working, planning and searching, through the cold, an eye always for their escape.

However, the evenings and nights were far different. They were spent in the warmth of the house, surrounded by the constant golden colours of the fireplace. A world in which he lived to touch, to hold and be held. They were times he never wished to end, praying for the endless nights to continue; curled up with Teyla before the fire or in bed. As soon as they both arrived home from chores or from the tavern, they were touching, whether it be a subtle brushing up against one another as they worked in the kitchen, or shoulders pressed against one another as they sat by the fire. Or it was in holding her hand, or as they stroked hands and fingertips over each other as they made love; he was amazed at his need to be in contact with her. It was as if some dam that had unbeknownst to him been holding back this affection for her had burst, and he found himself working all day to be able to return home at night. During the day he wanted nothing more than to get her back to Atlantis to be with her son and to return to their 'real' lives, but once home in the evening he wanted nothing to change.

And so they lived; ever planning and preparing to leave, but John found himself secretly being to worry. What would happen once they returned to Atlantis? Would he even have a job once they returned? It was these thoughts that plagued his mind as he pushed through the doorway amidst the customary flurries of snowflakes, to find that she was already home before him. She was sat before the fire, a smile of greeting for him before she turned back to her task. As he pulled off his coat and boots he saw that she had their backpacks spread out on the floor, the contents arranged in front of her.

"We got enough supplies then?" He asked as he hooked his coat on the stand and headed towards her.

She looked up once more at him. "Yes, I believe so. I have added those dry fruits from Merryweather." She indicated the bags of shrivelled berries and John frowned down at them.

"Yummy." He said doubtfully. He had yet to find any food from this planet that tasted good. "We are not having that for dinner." He reassured her as he leant down enough to kiss her hello.

She lifted her mouth to meet his briefly and smiled at him. "Dinner is ready." She indicated the pan set by the fire.

"I thought I was cooking tonight?" He asked as he stepped forward and began to spoon out the thick stew into the two bowls she had left on the side.

"I wanted to use up as much of our perishable supplies. We do not know if we will have to leave tomorrow." She said, and he could hear the anticipation in her voice.

He handed her her bowl of food and then sat down beside her, his bowl full of warm mixed veg stew. He regarded the collection of items and food before him on the floor. It was a bizarre mix of Earth items such as their weapons, vests, wash kits (with his now rather dull razor) and then the items they had acquired from the settlement; such as their new clothes and the food supplies. It reminded him once again of the contrasts of his life lately, yet here they were all mixed together.

"I didn't detect anything that may suggest a ship in orbit, but they should be due any day soon." He said as he began to eat.

They had planned to start each day from now onwards packed and ready to go, their bags full and sitting near the front door. He looked back towards the kitchen and the photo of Tagan. "You may want to take him down, in case we have to rush out of here and leave it behind." He suggested.

Teyla turned and looked over at the picture, her expression softening into sorrow. He hated to see it, it literally pulling at his heart in a way that he detested, for what could he do for her but hold her and promise to get her back to Atlantis?

"I hope he remembers me." She said quietly. It was a sentiment she had expressed to him before, whispered to him in the darkness one night as they fell asleep. It had once again hurt him to hear her pain, but also at her embarrassment at admitting her deepest fears.

"He will. You're his mom. No one forgets their mom." He reassured her with a smile and rubbed her knee pressed beside his.

She kept her gaze on the photo. "He will have grown so much, and developed such that he may not remember me. It is natural that he will have grown attached to those around him, who have cared for him."

John struggled against the honesty of her words, but he would not admit to her anything that may hurt her. "He's still young, Teyla, he will remember you and once you are home you can get to know each other again."

She turned back towards the supplies in front of her, her eyes slightly wet and she smiled as best she could. "Well, there is not much else I can do now. We will just have to wait for the traders to arrive."

John recognised the avoidance technique, being an aficionado of that method of dealing with emotions himself. He leant over and kissed her neck briefly, before he sat back and corrected her; "Pirates." With the necessary pirate impression.

She smiled widely now. "Fine; till the Pirates return." She began to push the supplies into the bags with well practiced skill. That done she reached for her bowl of stew.

They sat in silence for awhile each lost in their own thoughts as they ate and watched the contained flames before them. John found his mind wandering back to the issue of what would happen once they returned home.

"Should we not also begin to plan what we will say once we are back in Atlantis?" She asked.

He looked round at her in surprise; she had a strange way of being able to tell what he was thinking sometimes. "I was just thinking about that myself." He said as he finished up the last of the stew and set the bowl on the floor beside him. "I guess there isn't much I can really say. I left without permission and didn't check back in with them."

"You said you left in the middle of the night; then were you not the highest ranking member awake?" She pushed as she placed her empty bowl aside, pushed the full bags aside and stretched out her legs before looping one leg up over his nearest knee, turning towards him.

He considered her words, and the warm feeling inside at her insistence in defending him, as he laid a hand on her leg. "I guess I could say that I expected the trip to be short, but I still should have told someone."

"It was a minor error that should be overlooked." She added sounding rather stern, as if she were already writing her report in her mind.

He smiled over at her. "But, then I still should have radioed back when I found the pirates."

"You had no time, you needed to attach the Jumper to their ships or you may have lost them." She argued back.

John found it odd playing devil's advocate in his own case. "But, the Pirates didn't show up for a day."

Teyla smiled shrewdly "They need not know that and how could they ever find out?"

John was a little shocked at her then, as she was always the most honest of people he knew. "You mean lie about it." He said back, still smiling.

Teyla shook her head. "No, I mean do not offer all the details. We need only say that you checked the tavern on that world, discovered the details about when the traders, sorry Pirates, that they would be returning any time soon. So you went to look for them and when you found them you attached the Jumper to the side of their ship."

John arched an eyebrow amused at her. "You use this technique often?"

"What technique?" She asked pretending confusion.

"Not admitting certain pieces of information so as not to technically lie?"

She looked away considering, but he knew he had caught her at something. "We have all chosen carefully exactly how we report mission details. After all the precise details of how Rodney fell down that embankment were not entirely necessary, were they?" She asked.

"He slipped and fell down that hillside by himself; I only patted him on the arm!" John responded.

"That is not what I recall." Teyla said.

He studiously ignored that. "You ever use this technique on me?" He asked her suspiciously.

He almost missed the look before she hid it behind a schooled controlled expression. But, now he knew her so much better than before, and he saw it. "You did! When did you lie to me?" He demanded.

"I have never _lied_ to you." She replied.

The tone changed slightly, both of them remembering how she had not told him of her pregnancy, though now John understood the true reason why.

"Anyway, you have lied to me as well." She continued, not allowing the playful mood to be lost.

He raised an affronted eyebrow at her. "When?" He demanded.

She pulled her leg away from his leg and out from under his hand, then rose up on her knees moving towards him. "I seem to recall when you apologised to me several years ago after forcing a kiss…"

"I was turning into a Bug!" He interrupted her to protest.

She moved closer, and stretched one leg out over his crossed legs, so she was now straddling over his lap up on her knees. His hands drifted to her waist without thought.

"I told you not to think on what had happened again and you said you would not." She settled down over his lap, shifting enticingly against him as she did. "I now believe you were lying then."

He tried to think of a smug reply, but she was moving against him just enough to distract his brain from logical conversation. "I thought I was being honest at the time." He tried.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and regarded him with a doubtful look.

"I was going to _try_ not to think about it." He offered. She slid her fingers through his hair at the base of his neck. "So I wouldn't call _that_ part a lie."

She paused in her subtle seduction to sit back and looked him directly in the eye. "Which part did you lie about?" She asked.

He could feel himself blushing slightly, which was stupid as he and Teyla were far from embarrassed about their previous feelings for each other now. Yet he had never really admitted to her his real feelings about what had happened back then in the Gym.

"Not the apology, I meant that. I was sorry that I forced that kiss on you, but that I actually kissed you… I may not have been totally honest about being apologetic about that part." He admitted.

She smiled at that and began to move closer again. "Good." She whispered.

He encircled her with his arms, pulling her even tighter to him and kissed her roughly. She responded to the intensity from him meeting his enthusiasm equally.

"This may be our last night here." She said as she pulled back. John nodded absently his eyes locked on her wet swollen lips. "How would you like to commemorate the event?" She asked her voice low and full of promise.

He managed then to tear his eyes from her lips and up to her smiling eyes. "I have a few ideas." He said back, his hands slipping under the back of her top. He laid her backwards down onto the carpet. "But, they may take some time."

"Good." She whispered again.

--

Teyla turned to John in the half light of the Jumper, taking in the contained excitement and nervousness in his eyes. She felt the same, yet for her the prospect of seeing her son once again made her own excitement paramount over the nervous worry that had plagued her these past months. Now, finally, it was going to end; one way or another.

"Ready?" John asked her.

She nodded once and turned her attention to the Jumper's dialling device set in the console between her and John. She dialled the familiar symbols and watched as outside through the planet's dark night the gate began to flash.

She watched as the lights all slot into place and the event horizon began to form. As it did she felt herself straighten in her seat and she pulled the edge of her tac vest down preparing herself to return to Atlantis. She looked over at John as he activated the radio.

"Atlantis, this is Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard. Do you read?" He said his voice strong and full of military efficiency. She had not heard that tone in awhile. Like her he was sitting differently already; preparing for 'work mode' as he called it. She only hoped that he would be able to keep his position in Atlantis, fearing that because of his feelings and loyalty to her that he had not lost his career forever. She had worried over that as well; and what if they do not return his job to him and instead demand he return to Earth? What would she do? Go with him? Would they allow her to? The worries were too many, so she pushed them aside and focused on the Stargate and waited for a reply as John repeated his message.

"Sheppard?" Came a startled voice they both recognised instantly.

"Rodney! Hey Buddy!" John said back with a large smile. "You miss me?"

"What? Where have you been?" Rodney demanded. There followed some barely audible muttering and arguing, before another voice came over the radio.

"Colonel Sheppard, this is Woolsey. Where are you?" Came the stern politician voice.

John rolled his eyes at Teyla. "Sir, we are calling from a small planet on the other side of the galaxy. Sorry, this is the first opportunity we have had to get to a Stargate."

"'We'? You found Teyla?" Came Rodney's insistent voice, and Teyla could only imagine Woolsey frowning away at their friend.

"Yes, Rodney. I am here." She replied.

"We are very glad to hear that you are both well, but how can we be sure that you are alone?" Woolsey interrupted.

"Sir, we would be happy to meet a team on a world of your choice, just give us the address." John responded.

There was a pause on the other end, one which she imagined was full of heated discussion and posed scenarios.

"Alright, come through, Sheppard, but security will meet you and escort you both straight to the Infirmary so we can verify you are who you say you are." Woolsey finally responded.

"Yes, Sir. I should add that we are in a Jumper." John added.

There was another pause then "Very well, security will meet you in the Jumper Bay."

"We're on our way." John said and deactivated the radio. He turned to Teyla, his eyes falling over her and she understood for a moment that his thoughts were mirroring hers; their time together outside of Atlantis was over. But, they were also going home. She reached out and grasped his hand. He squeezed her fingers before releasing them and turning back to the controls.

The Jumper passed easily through the gate and abruptly they were back in the city. Joy tore through her at the familiar tones and colours of the large gate room. She could just about make out the sight of Rodney at the top of the stairs beside Woolsey, both standing behind several guards. John waved at Rodney in what Teyla felt was a sarcastic fashion and then the Jumper was rose up to the Bay.

The ship settled in the centre of the bay, and the security team approached weapons drawn. Teyla headed to the rear of the ship as John began to deactivate the ship. As the hatch lowered she could not help but smile at the sight of Ronon and Lorne's team. The weapons lowered slightly as they all smiled back. Ronon pushed past the guards and ran up the ramp to Teyla, wrapping her in his arms and he lifted her from the floor and swung her around laughing. She laughed in return when she could breathe again as he set her down again. His bright assessing eyes looked down on her with unsuppressed joy. Ronon then turned his attention on John as he approached, slamming a heavy hand down on John's shoulder and shaking him. Teyla was surprised when John initiated the very manly hug between them. Ronon seemed only happier at that, slapping John on the back several times more, making him stagger under to blows.

"Sheppard! I knew you were alive! And why the hell didn't you take me with you?!" He demanded.

Teyla hadn't considered that thought, and she suddenly found herself considering how Ronon's presence may have changed the events over the past months. She found herself pleased that John had in fact left him behind. Her eyes met John's for a second and she knew he had been thinking along the same channels.

Lorne came forward, his weapon still in his hand, but his other was extended to John.

"Great to see you back, Sir." John shook his hand and clapped him on the shoulder.

"Things been okay here, Major?" He asked.

"Actually it's been a quiet few months, Sir. Which has lead to many theories about how much you 'trouble' you bring in by yourself."

John rolled his eyes, as he picked up their bags, handing one to Teyla. "That sounds like a McKay theory to me."

Ronon grabbed the rest of the bags from John. "Here give me those." He reached out and took Teyla's as well.

"Sir, we do have to escort you both to the Infirmary." Lorne reminded them politely.

"Great, escort away." John waved one hand towards the far door and they proceeded down the ramp and out through the Bay.

As they walked Ronon began updating them on Rodney's terrible behaviour of late, but Teyla could think of nothing now but seeing her son. She started at every corner they took and every door they passed; would someone bring Tagan down to see her? But, then they needed to be sure that she and John were who they said they were, so it may take some time till they thought it safe to bring Tagan to her. She tried not to be impatient, but the eagerness and worry was almost overwhelming now. She looked round at Ronon and John beside her, to see John's eyes on her and he smiled supportively. She took a calming breath and tried to focus on Ronon's words and not on the imminent reunion with Tagan.

--

TBC….


	7. Chapter 7

--

An hour later and Keller pronounced them to be who they said they were. John let out an exaggerated sigh and stood up from the Infirmary bed. Ronon and Rodney had been sitting with them since Woolsey had departed, both so heart-warmingly happy to see her and John again. Woolsey had questioned them briefly, and they had answered the basic questions. He asked John for his report later that day, but had allowed Teyla some more time to complete hers. Everyone knew she was so eager to see her son, the air charged with excitement and concern, though no one spoke of it. John felt both for her; happy for her reunion to come, but also the concern over the welcome she may receive. His own concerns over his future and his report were at the back of his mind now, only her and Tagan was all that mattered right now. The thought was barely through John's mind when the Infirmary door slid open and Halling appeared and in his arms was Tagan, so much larger than before.

Teyla had been sitting with her back to the door, but she noticed John's expression and turned. John's heart clenched and he sent out a silent prayer that Tagan would recognise her. Beside him both Rodney and Ronon stood, highlighting the importance of this moment.

Teyla let out a small gasp and was moving towards Halling and her son in a second. She neared them, but slowed, unsure. Halling's smile was massive and John was sure he saw tears in the big man's eyes, but then John had to admit he was feeling pretty emotional himself. His eyes fell on Tagan. The kid was obviously sleepy, his eyes, now very dark brown like his mothers, blinking around at the room. Teyla stepped up to Halling and touched Tagan's little arm in greeting as she whispered to him. The child blinked up at her, a tiny little frown on his forehead. Halling began to pass him over to Teyla, the child rather unwilling to let go, but he didn't cry as Teyla gathering him into her arms. Tagan sat down in her arm and continued to frown up at her, struggling to study all of her face. She stilled and John was suddenly concerned. She tilted her head at her son as if she was listening to something, then Tagan pressed toward and snuggled his little face into her throat, his hands clasping her shirt. Teyla hugged him tightly to her, tears freely running down her cheeks.

Ronon and Rodney headed for the door, telling Teyla they would see her later. She nodded as best she could around her tears. John approached her and Halling. He guessed he really should leave as well, no one would expect him to remain during this emotional reunion. But, he really didn't want to leave her, especially with tears flooding down her face. He knew there wasn't much he could really do, but he didn't like the idea of just leaving her.

"See I told you he would remember his mom." He offered gently as he caught one baby hand in his fingers in greeting. Tagan looked up from cuddling his mom, smiling briefly and went back to his cuddling. John was so relieved that Tagan had recognised Teyla. He longed to put his arms around Teyla now, but he couldn't, not here. He should probably go. Halling saved him from the decision.

"Perhaps Sheppard you could help me move Tagan's things back into Teyla's quarters." He suggested. John looked up at the man and saw a glint in the man's eye.

"Sure." John replied.

Teyla finally looked up, towards Halling now, concern on her face. "It may be too much of a change for Tagan to be moved so suddenly." She said.

Halling wrapped an arm around Teyla's shoulders, as John had wished he could do, but was pleased that someone had. "Teyla, you are his mother. He has not been happy since you left. I have taken him into your quarters everyday, so it will not feel strange for him there."

"I can never repay you Halling for what you have done." Teyla said her voice tight with emotion.

"It was an honour. I think of you as my family Teyla, you know that, and so Tagan is my family too. And I know you would do the same for me." He said his voice so soothing and strong. He leant in and pressed his forehead to Teyla's over Tagan. Further tears leaked from the corner of her eyes.

John felt the desperate need to make a joke to break the emotional intensity he was feeling, but he didn't. Fortunately she and Halling parted and the man turned to John.

"Come then, let us move Tagan's belongs." Halling's gaze was happy, but John could feel something else from him and John had a sneaky suspicion that Haling had already guessed that things had changed between him and Teyla.

John wasn't sure about how he felt about that, as he was suddenly feeling the impulse to 'explain his intentions' to Halling. He resisted the strange urge, instead following Halling and Teyla out of the Infirmary and back into the familiar corridors of the City.

--

The meeting had gone well so far, but John was far from relaxing. He had written up his report as soon as he had left Teyla and Halling arranging Tagan's things in her quarters. Woolsey had called him into his office barely half an hour after John had handed it in. After some consideration John had followed Teyla's advice on how he reported the details of how he had found her. He didn't directly lie and was pretty clear on that for himself, he had merely swept over some details in the report and only hoped they didn't stand out too much.

Woolsey had asked a couple of questions in general, though he did take the time to scold John on leaving Atlantis how he did. John had apologised, refusing to make any excuses for his behaviour. He would get an officially telling off for that he was sure, and in truth he knew he deserved it. But whether he would lose his position was still up in the air. Woolsey had dismissed him telling him he would be sending the report back to Earth and they would have to wait to see what happens.

John left the office feeling strange, like he was in a state of limbo. It wasn't an entirely new feeling; he had felt something similar during his time in Antarctica. However, now he had more to lose. What would he do if he was recalled to Earth? The thought was worrying and so he pushed it aside, unwilling to even think on it any further. He ambled through the evening corridors of Atlantis. It felt so good to be back, but he was already missing the fireplace. He hadn't realised how cool the colouring of the city was until now, and wished for the golden red hues of firelight again.

Back at his quarters he set about unpacking his bags. Several of Teyla's things were mixed in with his, so he set them aside to take to her later. Then everything set away he sat on the edge of his small empty bed. He thought about going to visit Teyla, but it was late and he wanted to leave her space to be with her son. But, sitting alone in his room he felt very lonely all of a sudden. The prospect of climbing into his old bed alone was not all that inspiring. He hadn't slept alone in over two months and he found he missed her intensely. Maybe she might want to see him? Or was she busy enough with Tagan? He should really leave her time to be alone to reconnect with her son, as she had one male vying for her attention already so she didn't need him as well.

So John set about preparing for bed, the perfectly controlled room temperature around him feeling too warm. He missed the chill in the air from the settlement, which was strange because he hadn't stopped complaining about it whilst he was there. But, then he had Teyla to warm himself against and the complaints had mostly been to encourage her to warm him; which she had always willingly done.

He climbed into his small bed, the sheets cool against his skin and lay back trying to relax enough to sleep. However, his mind was having none of it. He looked up at the cool pale blue painted ceiling above him and once again found himself missing the dancing colours of firelight. The pale blues and greens made his room feel empty and bare.

It felt good to be back in Atlantis, but what now? Seeing Teyla with Tagan had brought back all the home truths; she was a mother now, and they were team members. If their relationship was to continue, he doubted they could remain together on the team. The thought really bothered John. He didn't like to think that she would be in another team, where he couldn't watch her back and trust her to watch his. This had been the best team he had ever been apart of before and the thought of breaking it up was oddly painful. But, what was the alternative? Break up with Teyla? There was no way he was going to do that any time soon. So if he kept his job then he would have to reassign her to another team. He only hoped she wouldn't resent him for it.

Then there was Tagan. John had watched Teyla lay the baby into the crib, once he and Halling had positioned it for her in her quarters. To accept Teyla meant accepting Tagan John realised. And as he lay in the dark a word materialised in his mind; marriage. For the first time he actually thought what he had resisted before; marrying again. His first marriage had not been good. Even from the start he had known it was a mistake, as he had felt pushed into the commitment by the pressures of his father, family and generally 'what was expected of him'. He had no doubt he had loved Nancy, but it had been a very different kind of love to what he felt now.

The emotion rocked him then, and he sat up in bed feeling a light sweat break out over his body. Was he really thinking about marrying Teyla? That felt too huge for him. The cool room suddenly felt too small and warm around him. He took a steadying breath, relieved to taste the salty air over wood smoke. The tangy saltiness felt enlivening and helped to distance him from the emotional memories and feelings associated with the settlement. He was jumping _far_ ahead, he told himself. Marriage was a massive jump. Hell, he hadn't even openly told Teyla how he really felt. He felt she knew; how could she not? He expressed it to her in how he touched her, how he kissed her, how he made love to her. Surely she wouldn't doubt his affection through his desire for her? But, then was he simply ignoring the issue and avoiding telling her face to face, as was his standard avoidance technique in dealing with anything emotional.

Calmed somewhat he lay back down on the bed but another worry burst into his mind; what if Tagan didn't like him? The little guy had been cheerful enough whenever John had seen him, but if John was going to be spending so much time with his mom… It was a strange thought, one which John recognised as preying on his already old issues regarding being accepted and fatherhood. For a moment he contemplated going to see the new city shrink, but dismissed it. He wasn't ready to talk to someone else about Teyla, not until he had spoken to her about telling others. Yet, another issue they needed to discuss.

John turned over onto his side letting out a frustrated breath. He caught himself reaching out for her beside him, looking for the comfort of her touch, of her warmth against the cold inside and outside. But, she wasn't there, leaving him alone with his fears.

--

Tagan struggled up into a seated position with enthusiasm, managing to hold himself upright. Teyla arranged cushions around behind his butt in case he fell. He picked up a toy, waving it in his little hand, passing it to his other hand, then smiling up at her in delight. She made pleased impressed sounds which encouraged him to repeat his new skill.

He had grown so much that Teyla felt rather unnerved in handling him, but she was fast learning how to treat her son. When she had last seen him he had barely been able to hold onto objects, now he was waving them about proudly and gurgling in joy. What she especially hadn't expected was the sensation of his mind when he had seen her. No real thoughts or clear emotions, but definitely he had reached out to her with his mind and in a way she felt he had recognised her more from that connection than from recognising her physically.

The rest of the day and night he had clung to her, completely unwilling to be separated from her for a moment. It had been a difficult night. She had sat beside his crib as he fell asleep and returning when he woke. She had not felt the touch of his mind since, and had not instigated contact herself. He had enough to deal with without her opening up those skills too soon.

This morning she was tired, but Tagan looked happy enough and more relaxed now which meant she could at least move more than a metre away from him. He had now settled happily enough to play with his toys; a mixed selection of Earth stuffed toys, shiny cubes and oddly a wooden spoon.

It was strange to be back in Atlantis. She had found it difficult to fall asleep herself last night; the air warm and her bed empty and cool against her skin. She had lit her candles bringing back the familiar scents of Athos, but it only made her long for the taste of wood smoke in the air. Signing she reached out and stroked Tagan's hair as she wiped his chin, happy gurgles greeting her work. She had wanted to go see John this morning, but she wasn't sure if he was in meetings or even on duty already. It was not a comfortable feeling to be suddenly so unaware of him and what he was doing. She was used to knowing where he was, and how he was feeling.

The door chimes rang breaking her rather dull mood, she called out that they may enter and the doors slid aside to reveal John. He peered cautiously into the room.

She smiled up at him delighted. "You do not have to use the chimes, John. Come in."

He stepped into the room smiling, his eyes falling to Tagan by her. "I didn't want to disturb you if you were busy."

She read between the lines. He had seen her emotional reunion with Tagan yesterday and had left her to be with her son last night. She reached up to him as he approached, as they had done so often over the past weeks. He smiled, tension easing from around his eyes, as he stepped around Tagan's toy explosion to kiss her. He settled down on the floor beside her, his arm stroking across her back briefly. He was looking for their connection again, as she was. It felt so different being back in Atlantis. They sat beside each other on the floor as they had done so often in the settlement, but now it felt like they were huddling together in a strange place. It was an odd thought, as Atlantis was more of her home than any other now. She pushed the feelings aside, knowing they only needed to find _their_ place here now.

"Did you hand in your report?" She asked.

John picked up a small fluffy toy, more for something to distract himself. "Yep and then Woolsey called me into his office."

"What happened?" She asked.

"He had a few questions, said he was going to send the report back to Earth and see what happens. We should hear something today." He said casually, but she saw the concern behind it.

She reached over and slid her hand over his knee. "It will be fine, John."

He nodded.

Tagan giggled and they both looked down to see him holding out the spoon to John. John leant down towards him. "Wow. A wooden spoon. You get all the best toys don't you little guy?" Tagan seemed happy with that and waved the spoon some more towards John, so he took it from him. Tagan giggled again and reached back for the spoon. "I see your game; pass the spoon." John said handing it back.

Teyla couldn't help the joy she felt at seeing John interacting with her son. Emotions moved her and once again she felt her eyes filling up. She had been getting tearful since yesterday and it was so unlike her, but then so much had happened. She sat back and watched John offer Tagan the fluffy toy, which was regretted in favour of the spoon again.

"You must have learnt this from Uncle Rodney, only even interested in anything food related." John said to Tagan in a soft baby voice that she had never heard him use before. Tagan responded to it well, passing a bright red cube to John now. John handed back the cube and looked back up at Teyla. "Things been okay here then?"

She knew he saw the tiredness in her face. "He did not want to let go of me for most of yesterday, and would not settle well last night, but he seems more relaxed this morning. I only hope he will sleep better tonight. Halling said he usually sleeps very well."

"I guess he's worried you are going to disappear again." John commented.

Her door chimed again and they both looked up in surprise. Teyla unwillingly pulled her hand from John's knee and called out; the doors sliding open to reveal Ronon. He entered quickly, his eyes moving over the three of them on the floor.

"Ronon. Come in." Teyla said happily.

"Am I interrupting anything?" Ronon asked his tone suspicious. John glared up at him for a moment, but he only smiled brightly in return.

"Tagan is showing us his toys." Teyla reported.

"Oh, he's really into handing you things at the moment." Ronon said, heading over to them and sitting down on the other side of Tagan. Tagan craned his head up, almost falling backward onto his cushions, but John and Teyla both reached in to support his back. The baby smiled up at Ronon in recognition, then held up the spoon.

Teyla stroked his soft baby hair, so happy to be back with him and that there were people around him who obviously loved and had cared for him.

The doors chimed once again and John leant in to her. "Bet you a bag of cabbages who that will be." Sure enough Rodney peering into the room, worry then a smile on his face as they all looked up at him.

"Hi, oh, you're all here. I was wondering if we were going to start having team breakfasts again?" He asked as he stepped in.

"See always thinking with his stomach." John said to Tagan, before he looked back up at Rodney. "We've been lost for months and all you are interested in is when we all get to eat together."

Rodney sat down on Teyla's plush chair, rather than sitting on the floor.

"No, no. I just thought we would start doing that again."

"He means he is happy to see you too, Rodney." Teyla replied. "And I would love to have breakfast with you all. As long as you do not mind Tagan joining us?"

Ronon jumped to his feet. "Of course not, he's joined McKay and me a couple of times already for a meal or two."

Teyla reached out and lifted Tagan up. "Shall we go and have breakfast with the rest of the team?" She asked and Tagan grinned as he tried to insert the wooden spoon into his mouth.

Together they all headed out of her quarters towards the Mess Hall. John trailed along beside her, teasing Rodney as they went. A happy warm space opened up in Teyla then; her family were finally all back together.

--

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

--

Two days later and John was getting angsty. Not only had they not heard back from Earth, but he hadn't spent any time alone with Teyla. Sure the team had been spending tons of time together, but that wasn't the same. Tagan had not been sleeping well, keeping Teyla up most nights and John had not wanted to disturb the situation further by monopolising Teyla's time away from Tagan.

So it was with great relief that he was now back sparring with Ronon, able to express out the growing frustration and loneliness. He was a little slower after his long break away. Sure he had planned to spar with Teyla whilst they had been away to keep up his skills, but they had always ended up following other kinds of pursuits instead. The thought brought a hot wave over his skin; damn he was missing her.

Ronon struck out and John managed to feint him off and the larger man stood back with a small impressed smirk. They circled one another.

"You may be able to hide it from the others, but you're not fooling me." Ronon stated with a sly smile.

"Hide what?" John asked honestly not following the new direction of conversation.

"You and Teyla."

John struck out to hide the flush he felt climbing his throat. Ronon ended it by swatting him across the back and pushing him away sharply. John staggered back up and turned back towards his friend. "What about me and Teyla?"

Ronon only tilted his head to one side and gave him a disgruntled look.

"We were living together for over two months; we got to know each other better. We're good friends." John tried, surprised at the ease with which he sounded dismissive. Because his body sure wasn't feeling that way.

"You look at her differently and you touch her more." Ronon reported.

"When?" John demanded. He had been very careful not to do that in public.

"I just don't get why you're hiding it."

"We are not hiding anything." John replied, hearing the defensiveness in his own voice. He was starting to feel slightly guilty now about lying to Ronon.

"Please!" Ronon said, before launching a massive set of hits towards John.

John landed on his back on the cold floor and looked up at his smiling friend. The end of Ronon's staff tapped John on the chest. John batted it away. "Fine. But, don't tell anyone else." He climbed to his feet, ignoring Ronon's offered hand to help him up. This wasn't helping his mood and Ronon was grinning at him. "What now?"

"Nothing. I just think you two make a good couple, but I've told you that before."

John's mood lifted slightly then. "Well, I'm not sure how things are gonna go between us yet."

Ronon lifted a questioning eyebrow.

"Things are different here. Complications."

"What complications?" Ronon's tone was doubtful.

"Our responsibilities here and…you know…Tagan."

"You don't like Tagan?" Ronon asked surprised.

"No, he's great, but…"

"You resent him?" Ronon pushed.

"What? No! I don't have a problem with Tagan." John replied heatedly.

"You just said you did."

"I didn't mean with him directly that way; I mean that I could be his future father." The words surprised John when he said them out loud, as they did Ronon. John felt his stomach drop at his confession; God not only was he considering marriage, but now fatherhood!

Ronon started smiling again. "So you are very serious about her. Good." There was an edge of warning in his voice, a slight older brother vibe that made John frown at him.

"We haven't made any plans one way or another. I just…it's complicated." John fell back on that word again.

Ronon picked up his towel and turned for the exit. "Sounds to me like you are the one making things complicated."

--

The video conference with the IOA and General Landry had gone pretty well. As it turned out Earth had just managed to narrowly avoid a major crisis of their own and John thought it had put them in a more amenable mood. They had reassigned him as military commander of Atlantis and had even given him the go ahead to follow up on the pirates and their organisation. All things considered he had come through with only a minor telling off.

However, he soon regretted it when he saw the massive back log of paperwork that he had to read through. He had to familiarise himself with everything that had happened here over the past two and a half months he had been absent. And so he found himself once again in at the meeting table, the surface coated with papers. The repeated pattern was not lost on him and it had helped him to stay focused and motivated. After all the last time he had sat here he had been lost and angry. Now, he had returned with the best possible outcome in all matters.

He laid down his eighth mug of tea, having grown a taste for it over the past months, and checked his watch; it was gone midnight. He set about rearranging the reports back together. He still had another day or so of administrative work, which would include sorting out members of his team. He had avoided it, but tomorrow he was going to have to address it. He had wanted to talk with Teyla, but what with the interview, the admin work and the whole team eating meals together he hadn't had a chance.

Walking through the empty halls of Atlantis, he contemplated on how to bring up the issue of the team with Teyla. He reached his quarters and dumped his tablet down on the desk. He had gotten used to the salty and climate controlled air once again, but he still wasn't enjoying sleeping alone. He headed over to the small lonely bed and reached for his bed clothes, but then stopped. It wasn't like she could come and visit him, with Tagan sleeping in her quarters. He had only managed to sneak a few kisses in with her over the past few days and he was fed up with it. He needed to be able to hold her for more than a mere second, to talk to her and be reassured that she wasn't getting any second thoughts over their relationship.

He strode out into the hallway again, making the short distance to her new quarters in easy time. As he arrived at her door, he found himself looking around to see if anyone was watching. Annoyed at himself he reached up to activate the chimes, but then remembered she had told him to enter anytime he wanted. It felt rather intrusive, but then if Tagan was asleep, as he should be, then John didn't want to wake him. Teyla would not thank him for that he was sure. So he cautiously opened the doors.

The candles danced around the room as he stepped in. The sight of golden light instantly relaxed him, bringing back pleasant memories and associations for him. He decided then to acquire some candles for his room. His eyes moved from the candlelight to Teyla who was stretched out on her side on her bed, Tagan lying on his back beside her. She was stroking his little belly soothingly, as Tagan blinked slowly and sleepily. John felt like he had just intruded on something very personal, but Teyla lifted her eyes to meet his and smiled so brightly that he soon forgot his worries.

He moved over to the bed. "Someone can't sleep?" He asked softly.

Tagan blinked over at him, his tiny eyes trying to focus on John, but obviously too sleepy.

"He is almost there." Teyla replied softly, her voice like honey and John felt himself relaxing inside. He didn't know how Tagan could resist sleep with her soothing touch and warm voice, but then guessed Tagan probably felt like he did; that he wanted to be with Teyla as long as possible.

John sat down on the near side of the bed, on the opposite side of Tagan to Teyla. "I didn't want to disturb you two." He said as he smiled down at the baby.

"You could never do that." Teyla said back.

He lifted his eyes up to hers again and saw her sincerity there. And the affection and he hoped he saw the love as well. Why had he been staying away these past days? Kicking off his boots he laid down opposite Teyla, Tagan between them. He reached out and took a tiny baby hand between his fingers, studying the perfect little finger nails. Tagan smiled up at him, happy enough as he grasped John's finger in return. A new emotion John couldn't quite identify moved within him, creating a warmth in his chest. The little guy needed a dad anyway didn't he? He would never want for uncles that was for sure, but John suddenly wasn't happy with that title for himself. Tagan was a part of Teyla and John would do anything for her, and he found now that that seemed to extend to Tagan. Perhaps it was protectiveness he felt in his heart right now.

He told Teyla of the interview, as he took in the details of little Tagan; the small features, his soft wrinkled skin and smiling dribble. John hadn't spent much time with babies, and definitely not this close before. So he took in the nice baby smell, looked down into the little dark eyes and smiled.

"Does it bother you that he is here?" Teyla asked into the silence.

John looked up at her through the candlelight. "I thought it might. But, it doesn't." He replied honestly. "I'm just not too sure I know where I stand in all this." He confessed.

"You are wherever you want to be, John." Teyla replied lifting her hand from Tagan's now sleeping form, to stroke down the side of John's cheek.

He closed his eyes at her touch and at her soothing words. He opened his eyes and looked over at her. "Can I stay here tonight?"

Teyla smiled. "Of course. I have missed you snoring beside me."

"I do not snore." He protested as he caught her hand, squeezing it and stroking his thumb over her knuckles.

"Though, you may have to suffer through baby cries tonight." She warned.

"I don't mind. And perhaps tomorrow we could talk some things through?" He ventured.

She nodded with her usual patience and he lifted her palm to his lips and kissed her briefly. Her hand returned she set about lifting Tagan, who didn't stir once from his now deep sleep as she carried him to the nursery. When she had been pregnant Colonel Carter had set about organising her larger quarters; nicer than most John noted. So, there was another room attached to the main room, whose original function was unclear, but John joked that it had been a large walk in closet. However now it was a nursery, complete with every gadget and soft toy imaginable.

John didn't follow her, instead set about pulling off his uniform. He looked around her room as he did taking in the details he hadn't noticed during his previous visits. He felt like he could have a look around now. So, he peered at various Athosian items as he pulled off his clothes. His eyes fell on a selection of jewellery he hadn't seen before, spread out on the side. He studied the pieces, his mind wandering to his memories of the Athosians. So many had been lost now that he realised these items must be of even greater importance to her now. In the middle was a beautiful large bracelet that caught his eye, its sparkling blue beads shining in the candlelight. He ran his fingertips over the intricate weaving of fabric, beads and stones.

"It was my mother's." Teyla said suddenly at his side. "It was said to have been passed down through the female line of my family."

"It's beautiful." He said as he turned to her. "Like its owner."

She smiled, obviously touched by the comment, even though he had told her the same thing many times.

"Only passed down through the female line, huh? Tagan won't get it, so you're gonna have to have a little girl in the future then?" He looked down at her as he said the words, the full meaning occurring to her about the same time it did to him. She looked surprised for a moment and then smiled. He looked deeply into her dark eyes and smiled slightly in return. He had been planning a speech about their future, but he had somehow conveyed all of that in this moment.

"One day." Teyla replied, her cheeks glowing and her eyes bright in the candlelight. For a moment John envisioned he and Teyla having a baby girl, and he knew she would be pretty, strong and very wilful. He found he liked the idea more than he ever would have imagined. But, Teyla was right; that was in the future. Right now he wanted nothing more than to climb into bed with Teyla and finally spend a comfortable night of sleep.

Teyla moved away and began to pull back the sheets of her bed. He followed and together they slid in between the sheets, shuffling about until they found a comfortable position in such a small bed. He wrapped one arm around her and pulled her against him, her warmth permeating into him. He sighed loudly in pleasure. That was what he had been missing. She chuckled so he nipped her shoulder gently. They snuggled down under the sheets, arms around each other, warm and comfortable and quickly fell asleep.

--

Teyla woke and tensed to listen for Tagan's cries, but heard nothing.

"Just me." John said sleepily from beside her, his hand circling her belly under her shirt.

She relaxed back down remembering happily that he had joined her tonight. She had been so pleased and relieved when he had appeared this evening. They had spent only scant moments together since they had arrived back in Atlantis and she had begun to entertain the idea that he was having second thoughts about their relationship. She had feared it was Tagan's presence that bothered him, but he had appeared comfortable enough with her son this evening. It was obvious that John was preoccupied with something, but she knew not to push him. And she was still struck by his words earlier about her having future children and his expression had made it pretty clear who he expected the father to be. It had been a momentous moment for her and told her much of his feelings for her.

She lay back and closed her eyes again, enjoying his gentle touch. "Your snoring no doubt woke me." She teased.

"I do not snore." He leant in and kissed her shoulder. His hand slid lower to between her legs and she hummed in pleasure. "I've missed you." He whispered in her ear.

She clutched at his shoulder and turned herself towards him. "Show me how much." She whispered back before she kissed him passionately. He responded with a groan and murmur of a growl. She pushed him backwards, but they had to pause to shuffle about on the bed somewhat. John broke the kiss to mutter at the bed size, but was cut off from his complaints as she straddled his waist. He looked up at her through the dark, his hands on her hips as she wriggled to find a comfortable place above him, and just to tease him. He groaned at her and she smiled as she reached down and pulled her nightshirt off.

His hands caressed over her, teasing her now as she felt her pleasure rising. He stroked down her belly but mumbled when he reached her soft night trousers. She lifted up onto her knees and set about removing them for him. He watched her with obvious enjoyment, his hands moving immediately to any bared skin. Undressed fully now she settled back over him, running her hands down his chest; so strong and so toned. She bent forward and kissed over his chest and stomach. He spent his time sliding his palms over her thighs and backside as best he could, and pressed her back against his arousal when she sat up again. She obliged, sliding back to hover over him and then took him inside of her. He groaned twisting under her and it almost broke her.

Things slid rapidly out of control from there as she ground against him and he thrust up into her. They worked to keep as quiet as possible knowing Tagan was in the next room, but it was difficult to hold back anything when she was with John. He had a way of inflaming her senses and her body always responded without censor with him. And she had so missed him these past days. She threw back her head and burst into bliss. He clutched her hips to him as he held her through his own release and as her climax flowed into another without pausing.

She collapsed down over him, panting and gasping. His hands were then in her hair, pushing it from face and he kissed her. He rarely was capable of anything other than cuddling and sleeping afterwards, but tonight seemed different. The kiss was slow and luxurious around their still broken breathing. They parted some time later and she rested down over him once again with a whimper of pleasure. She tucked herself within his arms, her head against his shoulder. He in return encircled her back with his arms, holding her tightly to him.

She drifted; his skin against her lips and she was happy.

"I love you, Teyla." He whispered.

For a moment she wasn't sure if she had heard him correctly, or if it had been some dream she had fantasized up as she drifted on the edge of sleep. But, then she became aware of the slight tension to his body under her. She rose up enough to be able to look down at him. In the vague moonlight she could make out the nervousness and tension outlining his watchful eyes. She leant down and pressed her lips to his before she moved back to look upon him, stroking one hand over his temple and cheek.

"I have loved you for a long time, John." She said eventually. "Even when it appeared I did not."

He reached up and stroked her hair aside, tucking one side back behind her ear. "That makes us even then." He whispered again. She felt powerfully emotional then and had to work to keep back the tears that threatened to build up in her eyes.

"We won't be able to stay in the same military team." He said quietly, as he continued to stroke her hair. She nodded, knowing that staying together in the team would not be possible any more and she felt the sadness of the loss. "But, maybe we can form a little team of our own." He continued. "You and me…and Tagan. As a family?"

The tears won out and she felt them hovering on the edge of her eyes. John saw them through the darkness, his thumbs brushing them away as they fell.

"Are these happy tears?" He asked with amusement, but there was concern there as well.

She nodded blinking them back. "Yes. They most certainly are." She pressed down and kissed him once again.

"Do you need to check with Tagan if he wouldn't mind me joining the family?" He asked smiling up at her.

"I will discuss it with him tomorrow to make sure." She said smiling, as she settled back against his chest.

He rubbed his hands up and down her bare back. "Good. So, we can start telling people that we are together?" "

Teyla drew in his scent, rubbing her cheek over his shoulder as she nodded against him. "Halling already knows." She offered.

"I thought he did. He gave me a look. Also, Ronon knows." He added.

Teyla laughed against him. "I wonder how many do not know."

"I'm sure Rodney is oblivious." John said with confidence.

"I do not know about that. Rodney can be more astute than you give him credit." She stated, idly sweeping her fingers over his chest.

"Sure take his side." John whispered into her hair, his tone teasing.

She continued to stroke over his skin as she relaxed on his chest, listening to his heart beat and his steady breathing. His hands stroked her back in return, lazily drawing patterns over her and she felt sleep tugging her back into its soft embrace.

--

TBC


	9. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Warning – VERY Fluffy ending!!

--

Tagan giggled brightly and threw himself forward again. John intercepted the full on assault once again and wrestled the toddler into a body lock. Tagan laughed hysterically as John wrapped his arms around his small torso and legs, and lifted Tagan upside down. At a year and a half Tagan was seriously strong for his age, and pretty advanced, though John conceded he may be rather biased in regards to his step-son.

Teyla chose this moment to arrive home, entering to see her son hanging upside down and laughing.

"Did he not just eat his lunch?" She asked with a bemused look at the two of them.

Tagan wrapped his arms around John's legs and began to swing himself in John's grip. "He'll be fine." John guessed. "Besides he is just about to go and play with Uncle Ronon, he needs to warm up first."

Teyla smiled as she took a seat near them. Ronon and Rodney had established themselves as instructors in Tagan's education regardless to his still young age. Ronon said all Satedan kids started basic fighting skills in their first year, but John thought it was an exaggeration on his friend's part. And Rodney insisted that the earlier Tagan be introduced to science the better. John and Teyla didn't mind as it gave them time alone quite often, having such enthusiastic babysitters.

"Could you put him down for a minute?" Teyla asked.

John looked round at her. "I won't drop him." He insisted as he lowered the boy to the floor slowly.

"I know you wouldn't normally, but I have some news that may surprise you." She said.

John barely heard her as he was tickling Tagan furiously. The boy screamed and giggled wriggling against the floor as John attacked him playfully. Once Tagan squealed and began hiccoughing John pulled back and looked up at his wife once again. "Sorry, what news?"

Teyla looked up at him with bright eyes as Tagan crawled out from under John's hands and dashed off across the room to start his attack run at John again. "I am not going on the mission to 428 after all." She reported.

John prepared himself as Tagan ran back towards him, head down, battering ram style. "I thought you were really looking forward to going to the Waterfall planet?" He asked, as he caught Tagan and wrestled him to the floor.

"I was, but I need to be taken off active duty." She replied, her voice light as she watched their wrestling match.

John looked up then, now absently playing with Tagan as he took in her expression. She didn't look ill or worried. "Why? What's happened?" He asked.

"Dr Keller has asked me to." She replied.

"What? Why?" John pushed again. As if sensing his father's growing concern, Tagan slumped down over John's lap, working to catch his breath.

Teyla smiled. "You can not blame me this time, as I was not aware that I was going off world in my current state."

John frowned at her; what was she on about? Then his mind supplied a possible explanation. "Your current state?" He asked.

She smiled in return, and slid off her chair onto the floor beside him and Tagan. Tagan instantly climbed up and moved towards his mom.

"You mean we're….." John asked as she settled against him, one arm around Tagan who was now quietly running his fingers through her hair. She nodded, her eyes sparkling as she leant in and kissed John. Still too surprised to do more than lightly return the kiss he pulled back.

"You mean you're…." He indicated her stomach, which now he was looking at it was very slightly rounder than normal. He had been off world for an entire week and hadn't noticed the change yet. A strange sense of déjà vu passed through him and he laughed at the bizarre twist of fate. He reached out and slid his hand over her belly.

"I didn't start to feel slightly unwell until several days ago, but Dr Keller believes I am already three months along." She turned to Tagan who was now resting his head on her shoulder. "Tagan. You are going to have a little brother or sister to play with soon." Tagan frowned at the words, not quite understanding.

John tuned out Teyla's explanation to Tagan, as he was still rubbing his hand over the new curvature of his wife's stomach, knowing deep within her she was protecting their new growing child. The thought was beyond exhilarating for him.

The doors chimed and at Teyla's call the doors slid open to reveal an arguing Ronon and Rodney.

"I am getting him today, you had him on Tuesday." Rodney was protesting.

"He needs regular training, not just twice a week like with you and whatever it is you are teaching him." Ronon huffed as he turned his attention to the family sat on the floor.

Rodney's protest was cut off as he two noticed them. "What's going on? Can't you wait until we leave already?" He asked indicating John's caressing of Teyla's stomach.

John looked up from his study. "We're going to have a baby." He blurted out in excitement.

After all the hugging was done, most for Tagan who never wanted to be left out of anything, they all stood back faces bright.

"A little Sheppard running around! Is the universe ready?" Rodney asked.

John punched him playfully on the arm. "Shut up, Rodney.

About to complain about his hurt arm Rodney opened his mouth, but then closed it with a thoughtful look. "This could mean the child could have both the Ancient gene and the Wraith gene. Who knows what that could mean?" He asked, his eyes glazing over signally he was about to launch into a new theory. Ronon reached down and scooped up Tagan.

"Come on Rodney, let's leave these two alone." With that he headed to the door, Tagan muttering few of his new words to his Uncle Ronon as they disappeared out into the corridor. Rodney ran along behind, muttering about connections between Ancient and Wraith genetics and the door slid shut, leaving John alone with Teyla.

He tugged her hand towards the bed and she laughed at him. "Let me see." He insisted as she settled onto the bed and he pulled up her shirt to reveal her stomach. He slid his palm over her skin, over the vague new slopes of her belly. She set about removing her shirt and shimmed out of her trousers revealing all her belly for inspection. John sighed happily as he settled down beside her, his eyes locked on the new changes to her. She threaded her hand through his hair, caressing him in return.

"You are happy?" She asked him.

He was certain she knew the answer, but it was a good question. So much had changed for him over the past year. He was a husband again and a father, twice over now. He had often wondered; what would have happened if Teyla had not been kidnapped by those pirates? It had been that situation that had forced him to address his suppressed feelings for her and their long stay in the cold settlement had melted the barriers that he had built up around himself for so long. Now he had a growing family, and they were surrounded by people whom they loved and who cared for them. And though he had been the man to seek out and end said pirate business, he found himself secretly thanking them.

He looked up along Teyla's naked body and smiled. "I am very happy." He leant forward and pressed a kiss to her belly and then began climbing up her body, to reach her waiting smile. "And let me show you just how much you make me happy."

--

THE END


End file.
